David's Blog and Babble

Home from work..

2009-01-27T07:44:00.003-06:00

Well I have been sitting around the house, looks like I will be off work for awhile. I am going to a new rig and they are still in the shipyard, so I will have about 45 more days to sit home. That is good news because after typing this long awaited update, I am off to start trying to get our other house ready to put on the extremely great housing market. What a time to sell your home huh? Well what's been happening with me you ask? Not too much. Working on the house, cleaning out stuff, just trying to do something each day. Got stuff piled up at 2 houses, 2 storage sheds, 2 outside sheds. One day soon I hope to be done with it. That is about it. I will be attempting to keep this updated. Got behind a little bit, but that is just me. Here is a pretty funny joke I came across.

This really tough Hells Angel bursts into a bar and strides up to the middle of the bar. He orders a beer, gulps it down, turns to the people at the left end of the bar and growls "All you down there... You're all a bunch of queer cocksuckers!" he gulps down a second beer and turns to the right side of the bar. "You're all a bunch of stupid motherfuckers." All is still for a moment until a little guy at the right end gets up. The Hells Angel says, "Where the fuck you going?" The guy says, "I'm at the wrong end of the bar."

Merry Christmas

2008-12-23T10:09:00.004-06:00

Well one year I had to go to work and I had to leave on Christmas Eve. We were all sad because it was one of those deals where it was sooo close, but still too far away. So my wife and I had my daughter write Santa a letter and ask if there was any way possible that while on his test flight the day before Christmas if he could possibly come see them a day early. Well we all sat around and hoped for the best and sure enough when the girls woke up on Christmas Eve Santa had come to see them and left them all their gifts. The girls had written Santa a letter thanking him to which Santa replied, "No problem, ya'll have been so good it was easy to come see ya'll a day early. Tell your Dad I said Hello" (Santa and I got to meet when I worked in Alaska because he was always flying around up there.) To say that the girls were ecstatic is an understatement. They told all their friends that they had been so good all year, Santa came to see them early. It was a fantastic Christmas.

I hope everyone out there has a Christmas filled with Happy memories. Merry Christmas.

Christmas

2008-12-19T08:39:00.004-06:00

Well Christmas is fast approaching. It is 6 days away for those who don't know. This Christmas I will spend on the Ocean Star, working or watching movies. That is one of the downsides to working offshore. I have been working out here for awhile and sometimes you are home, sometimes you are gone. That is just how life is. But we have always adjusted. We have always made it through. We sit down, look at a calendar and plan Christmas accordingly. It has made for some really fantastic memories in my life so far.

One year when my girls were still really young. I think my girls were 6 and 2 or 7 and 3, in that time frame. I was working on a land rig and the Company Man called me on the phone and said "You do know, that if your wife and girls want to come stay with you, that is OK with me right?" to which I replied, No, I didn't know that, but I appreciate it. Renee loaded up all the gifts and covered them with a blanket in her vehicle. My oldest daughter wrote Santa a letter to explain they had gone to Daddy's work. Then my wife and my girls drove to the location and stayed with me in my trailer. The next day the girls woke up and all their gifts from Santa were under my little 3' tall tree. They could absolutely not believe it. I still remember their eyes were as big as saucers. It was just fantastic to them that Santa had come to see them at Daddy's work. Renee had brought all the stuff to cook Christmas lunch, so she cooked and we got to eat Christmas lunch and then they drove home where Santa had put this big swing together for them in the front yard. It was truly a wonderful Christmas experience that I will treasure always. It wasn't the gifts... well it was the gifts. The gifts of spending time with my 3 girls. That is always the best gift, spending time with loved ones.

May you and your family, friends and loved ones have a Wonderful Christmas.

Movie reviews

2008-12-18T07:26:00.002-06:00

Well as I sit here at work, there is not really a lot to do some days so I tend to watch a lot of movies. I don't watch much TV when I am home, but we do tend to rent a few movies or even go to the movies when I get home. For instance, right before I left, Renee', Ashie & myself loaded up and went to see 'The Day the Earth Stood Still'. Now my wife and I kinda liked it, but my daughter hated it. I mean she hated it to the point where she was sitting on the edge of her seat looking at me and my wife like "are you serious, we're staying for the whole thing?" She was not happy. But as much as it costs to go to the movies these days, we were not leaving.

Now as far as rentals go, I did happen to rent what I think is the absolute worst movie I have ever seen when I was home this last time. 'The Happening' is by far the dumbest thing I ever watched all the way thru. Why did I watch it all the way? Well because I kept thinking to myself, No fucking way... No fucking way is that really what is happening. **SPOILER ALERT!** If you don't want to know what happens STOP READING HERE!** There has to be some aliens involved or government experiment going on here, no way it is really the grass is pissed off so it is killing people. I mean are you serious??? The grass is mad? Holy crap what director's 2 year old son thought up that shit? The grass is mad at us because we are a threat to it, so it releases a toxin and starts to communicate with the trees and other plant life and gets the wind involved so it can spread this toxin to make people kill themselves. That's it? The grass is pissed, so we all commit suicide.

Now, it wasn't just bad enough that the plot of the movie was dumb, the acting sucked. I am usually a fan of Marky Mark, but it was almost like he knew the movie sucked, so he was like watch this shit, and started acting like crap. I really can't believe this movie didn't go straight to DVD or actually straight to the trash dumpster. But instead it grossed over $163 million at the box office and made another $26 million so far in DVD. I went out and looked to try to find a positive review of it. Out of 100 reviews only 18% were positive. Another service had 38 reviews of it, 34 were bad. So almost all of the reviews even said it was shit. So how did it make so much money? Just people like me that wanted to see it once? My daughters boyfriend found out I was going to watch it and he went home. Said no way was he going to sit through it twice. I should have taken that as a warning, but no, I had to see for myself.

As the fog rolls in...........

2008-12-17T11:12:00.003-06:00

Well as someone who has worked offshore for the past 15 years or so, I can tell you that one of the things that sucks the absolute most, is getting delayed at the heliport or on the rig for crew change day. I can't drive late at night. I know this. So instead of leaving my house about midnight or 1am, I typically leave around 8pm so I get to the heliport about midnight. I then take out my trusty old pillow and blanket and stretch out on the front seat of my truck and toss and turn a few hours before I wake up and go inside and sign in before 5am. Not a perfect system, but it beats the crap out of waking up in a ditch. One of the big downsides to my system is the lack of sleep on my first day. I am usually exhausted by 2pm and can't hardly stay awake. So imagine how worthless I was yesterday after sitting in the heliport from 5am until 2pm yesterday flying out here and working until about 5:30pm? Well lets just say, I was more worthless than usual. I was so exhausted I had some of the wildest dreams when I went to bed last night. But now I am all rested up, but can't think of anything to blog about. I will spend the rest of the day that I am supposed to be working thinking up new and cool ideas that I can post the next few days. Maybe a quick joke to liven this post up a little bit. I am sure you have heard it before, but it is always funny no matter if you have heard it before or not.

People were in their pews talking at church.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the old man and said, 'Don't you know who I am?'

The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'

'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.

'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man.

'Don't you realize I can kill with a word?' asked Satan.

'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man in an even tone.

'Did you know that I could cause you profound , horrifying, agony for all eternity?' persisted Satan.

'Yep,' was the calm reply.

'And you're still not afraid?' asked Satan.

'Nope,' said the old man.

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Well, why aren't you afraid of me?'

The old man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for 44 years.'

Another Bad Service Story..

2008-12-12T20:24:00.003-06:00

Ok, so a couple of years ago, we were eating at a very nice restaurant on a beautiful lake close to where we live. There were 8 of us in our party and we ordered and they were short 2 people and service was slow, but the lady was really doing all she could. You could tell she was making an effort and as long as they are really doing the best they can do, I actually have patience to deal with it. Well there was a couple sitting close to us that had gotten there about the same time as us, if not earlier. They both ordered steak and I don't think they saw their server again after she brought their drinks. No refills, no checking up on them, nothing. Well after at least 30 to 45 minutes, they just got up and walked out. They had not gotten their food, they had not gotten refills, still nothing. Well the waitress came out and saw them as they walked out. She stood there and looked and then took off running for the door, came back in and wrote their tags down and got the manager. The manager called the sheriff's department who pulled them over about 10 miles from the restaurant as they were entering town. He then escorted them back to the restaurant. After the waitress told us that they had stopped them and were bringing them back, I asked why they left? She looked at me and said I don't know, but they can't skip out on 2 steaks. I said well had they gotten the steaks yet? She looked at me and said, no not when they had left, but they had ordered them. I said Oh, well are they ready now? She actually started laughing and said, No, they will be ready shortly. I then started to laugh and said well sheriff or no sheriff. If I sat here 45 minutes waiting on a steak, left the restaurant drove 10 miles to town, got pulled over and escorted 10 miles back and my food still wasn't ready? I'd burn this place to the ground. She laughed and said I guess I better go check on them steaks and left.

Now, regardless of who pulled me over. How much the steaks cost or anything else. I wouldn't have paid one cent for anything there. There is absolutely NO excuse for that type of service. I mean a steak cooked to medium well takes about 7 minutes per side. Over an hour had passed with all this fiasco. Yep, burned it to the ground.

Cable One heard me bitching..

2008-12-12T20:17:00.002-06:00

Well I should have known it wouldn't take long. After my post it rained and we were without internet for the past 3 days. My DSL was supposed to be hooked up today, but NOOOOOOOOOOOO, can't have that can we. They were supposed to be here today between 8 and 12 to install my phone line. At 4pm I called and the lady said they had it down that I was going to do it myself. I started laughing and said, No, I am not going to run my own phone line, that I had failed out of phone line running school and that I would like a tech to come out and run the line for me. She had to transfer me because that was too much for her to handle. So the 2nd person comes on and tells me that he highly doubts we can get it same day, so I said I ordered it almost a week ago, transfer to person #3. Anyway, they have pushed it back to the 19th. Which actually works out well, because the first operator told me the tech would bring the modem with him, according to the 2nd or 3rd person, who can keep up? The modem was mailed and should be here next week. Why does this not sound like it is going as great as I had hoped? Luckily, it has stopped raining and our cable internet is back up and running.

Bad Service

2008-12-09T09:46:00.003-06:00

We have a tradition in my family, that your birthday is a special day, so you get to decide where we go out and eat and celebrate. Well my youngest daughter wanted to go to Ruby Tuesday so she could have their shrimp special. No problem, we load up and head to Ruby Tuesday. Now before I go off on my rant, I will say a few things about Ruby Tues. When they first opened here, we LOVED to go there. Their food was good, service was good, good atmosphere, good overall place to go eat. Now? Now, after our last trip, they are on my list of places I will not go back to.

It wasn't just this one experience, it was just the latest really bad experience that has had me decide this. When we get there, it is quiet as can be, which is always weird in a restaurant, to me anyway. Well the hostess sits us down and gives us the menu's and we all look at them, no waitress. Finally the waitress comes over and takes our drink order. We sit and wait. Finally my wife and kids just get up and go get their salad. The girls are about half way done with their salad when we finally get our drinks and she takes our order. The people behind us are mumbling, the people beside us are mumbling. They are out of drink and no food yet.

Finally the people behind us, his wife gets her baked chicken, his food doesn't come out. Then a guy comes up and said "Sir, sorry we are out of baked potatoes, would you like to sub something for it?" The guy, very politely said "No, just cancel my order, we will go somewhere else, this is just ridiculous." So the server guy just said "OK" and walks off. Well they proceed to put on their coats and stuff and the waitress walks up and actually asks "How's everything?" Now they have no drinks, he has no food and they are putting on their coats, how do you think everything is? But to the guy's credit, he was very polite and just told her that they were out of ribs, which is the only reason he comes here so the he ordered a steak and they wait till he had been sitting there 45 minutes to tell him they were out of baked potatoes and to him that just wasn't acceptable. So they leave.

At this point I go to the salad bar and the waitress has told her supervisor the guy left because they were out of baked potatoes. So the manager and assistant manager are going "He can't just walk out because we are out of baked potatoes" and they actually head for the door to go out in the parking lot after this guy and his family (they had a baby in a carrier, I forgot to mention earlier). So I said "That isn't why he left" and they just all stop and turn and look at me, like what?? I said he came here to eat ribs, ya'll are out. So he ordered steak. He has been here, according to him 45 minutes total and ya'll brought his wife her food, but not his for some reason. So then as his wife starts to eat, ya'll then decided to go tell him that ya'll were also out of baked potatoes, which you should have told him when he ordered. When he had waited that long and ya'll then decided to tell him, he decided that he didn't like the service and he left and who can blame him?

So they didn't go out there and talk to him, which I don't know what they could have done if they had. I mean it is illegal to NOT put up with shity service? The lady had literally taken one bite of her chicken. I was on the verge of walking out of there myself. We ended up being there for over an hour, just waiting most of the time as well. I saw a guy sit there and wait for 15 minutes just for his check, then about 10 minutes for her to remember to come get it. I didn't have that problem. My wife had me ask for the check when they brought the last plate to the table and when we finished, I walked over to her and handed her the money.

That place has gone down hill almost as soon as they became popular. The first thing is, you never know what they will have. Most places have a certain menu they serve. You like ribs, you go there. But the one where we live changes their menu all the time. You like this certain thing, you go back for it, they don't serve that anymore. They change the decor as often as they change the menu. Used to be TV's in each corner and cool stuff on the walls, now there is nothing. The bad service is just the latest thing which makes me think they are trying to go out of business. But I know this for certain, I won't go back.

But is it illegal to walk out because of bad service?

Happy Birthday to my Baby!!

2008-12-04T13:14:00.002-06:00

Well today my baby turns 12 years old. Man oh man, where did the years go. Seems like yesterday I was packing her around and she was following me all over the place. Now? She is a beautiful young lady.

I have been very fortunate this year. I got to be home for both of my girls birthday's. For my oldest, she turned 16 and we threw her a Sweet 16 party. Nothing like you see on MTV, but it wasn't too shabby. She got to ride around in a limo for a couple of hours and we had DJ Nate there and she had a pretty good bit of her friends show up and they danced and had a good time.

My youngest will have her party Saturday and I think she has invited 20 people or so. I am going to decorate the back yard with some Christmas lights and stuff and they are going to dance (sit around and talk mostly I would bet) and hopefully they will all have a fantastic time. I will tell ya'll all about that party on Monday, or close to it.

Bout fed up with Cable Internet..

2008-12-04T13:03:00.003-06:00

So the past two years my wife and I have bitched and griped and fussed about our Internet. We moved out in the country (3 miles from the city limits) and the only high speed internet we could get was satellite internet. We decided to go with Wildblue and to be honest, it wasn't too terribly bad. It was much better than dial up, and at least you can network off of it so we could all have our computers running. But other than that, it wasn't much we were happy about. Tag on that it cost $80/month and we were glad to be rid of it.

Well we move back to the city and are thrilled that we have choices now as to what internet we can get. Well I have always heard that cable was the way to go, so we went cable. Got the cable digital box, got the cable internet and all is lovely right? Well hell no, you should know better than that by now.

The digital channels are like satellite was 10 years ago, shit. You get the pixelated screen, the picture goes in and out and is about as frustrating as not even having TV. Then the internet. It rains, it goes out. It is cloudy or overcast, it goes out. We didn't have nearly the problems with satellite internet as we are having with cable. Now, don't get me wrong, I still believe cable is the way to go. Just not our cable.

You see, our cable company didn't want to invest to run a fiber optic line across the Mississippi River. I am sure it is expensive, so I can't put 100% of the blame on them. But since they don't have a fiber optic line run, how do they get the signal over here across the river? They do it by satellite. They have a tower on one side of the river, that broadcasts the signal to the other side. It rains, it blocks the signal. It is real cloudy, it blocks the signal. For instance, it is very overcast here today and it has been raining off and on since yesterday. The internet has gone off and back on 5 times since I have started typing this and that my friends is 100% horseshit.

So, AT&T is going to be here next Friday to install a new phone line and jack and install my new DSL 6.0 speed, wireless router. Directv is going to be here Wednesday to install my satellite. I've never had problems with Directv, even during the hurricane I know people that were still watching their satellite with it running on a generator. We didn't have cable for days.

But at least now we have choices, thank goodness.

If Santa answered the letters, like David would..

2008-12-04T13:00:00.002-06:00

(Can't take credit for this, found it on the internet, found it too funny not to pass on)

If Santa Answered His Mail like David would.
Deer Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Friend, Billy

Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell, you little retard. Santa

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Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? God damned hippies. You get a toy gun. Santa

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Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan

Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a real favor? Leave me a bottle of eighteen year old scotch and a seventeen year old girl. Santa

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Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give up that piece of tight little Latino ass, just to come back to your frigid alcoholic mother? It's time to give up that dream, kid. Let me send you some Legos instead. Santa

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Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis

Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're a little gay homo. I'll set you up with a Barbie, you fag. Santa

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Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. But when I'm not defiling teenage runaways on film, I unwind by drinking myself silly, squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table, and doing enough pure Columbian blow to kill a rhinoceros. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa

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Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do and let me know if you're ever in Vegas. But know that I'm skipping your house this year. Santa

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Dear Santa, I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one? Love, Timmy

Dear Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. Man up, you little bitch. You're getting a sweater, again. Santa

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Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home? Love, Marky

Dear Mark, First stop callling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex because that's all your crack-whore of a mother can afford. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window. Sweet dreams, Santa

HOME!

2008-12-03T10:57:00.002-06:00

It is always so good to get home. After 3 long weeks in the gulf, I got to come home yesterday. This is pretty special actually because my daughter will turn 12 tomorrow. This is the first time that I can remember that I have actually been home for both of my daughters birthdays in the same year. I am usually home for one or the other, but to my knowledge this is the first time I've been home for both. So we going to do some celebrating this weekend. She is going to have some friends over and they are going to dance (sit around and talk) and all that. I am sure it will be a blast.

Other than that, got a long list of honey do's. So I am sure that will keep me busy. The house looks so much different than when I started, it is hard to believe it is the same house I grew up in. There is almost nothing that is the same.

Got our Christmas Tree yesterday and a new blow up for the front yard, I am sure the neighbors will be thinking the Griswold's moved in, but I enjoy Christmas and like to decorate.

Thanksgiving on the Ocean Star

2008-11-28T07:52:00.004-06:00

Well this is a picture of where I spent my Thanksgiving this year. Its not home, which is definitely where I would have much rather been, but I guess you could say it is home away from home. I have spent the last 3 or 4 years on and off working on the Ocean Star. We celebrated Thanksgiving here yesterday in typical offshore fashion. At our noon meal we had Snow Crab Legs, Turduckin, Prime Rib, Turkey, Dressing and lots of other things.

Our supper last night was pretty much the same, Snow Crab Legs, Turduckin, Turkey, Dressing, Crab Cakes and Fillet Mignon. Yeah you could say we roughed it. I went straight for the Snow Crab legs and Crab cakes. Lets just say I got up hurtin, but still struggled down a piece of Pecan Pie. I would have much rather been home with my family, but at least I did get to talk to a lot of them yesterday and my wife and my babies waved at me on the web cam so that was something to be thankful for.

I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving and got to see and speak with lots of family and friends.

Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T13:03:00.004-06:00

Well the big Turkey Day is coming up tomorrow and I hope everyone will get to sit down with some family and friends and enjoy some good eats. I will be offshore tomorrow and miss Thanksgiving, but hopefully they have crab legs and lobster like they did last year. That doesn't make it all better but it does take some of the sting out of it.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, I watched on the news where people in California were complaining about some students wearing Thanksgiving costumes during a school play or some school activity. Is there anything people won't complain about? I mean next thing you know people are going to complain about calling Christmas, Christmas.
My cousin and I doing our Thanksgiving Play when we were in Upper Elementary.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Here is a picture to offend people who think Turkey's just magically show up in the grocery store. This is me, my Dad and my brother. My Dad was a Turkey killin mo fo.

Ok, found this on the net thought it was funny had to post it

2008-11-25T13:20:00.002-06:00

HGTV

2008-11-25T06:18:00.002-06:00

Well as I recently told you, we moved into my parents home. What I left out in my book below is that we almost completely remodeled it. My wife is an HGTV addict and it has paid off, because she comes up with some fantastic ideas to decorate the house and stuff. Only downside is, it always means more, tougher work for me. I won't go into a long post today like I did yesterday, but I got this joke and found it funny since we just did so much work to our house, maybe you will too.

David was fixing a door and found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Renee' to Stine's. At Stine's, Renee' saw a beautiful bathroom faucet while she was waiting for Walt, (the manager) to finish waiting on a customer.
When Walt was finished, Renee' asked, "How much for that faucet?"
Walt replied, "That's solid pewter and it costs $300."
"My goodness, that sure is a lot!" Renee' exclaimed. Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that David had sent her to buy, and Walt went to the back room to find it.
From the back room Walt yelled, "Renee', you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Renee' replied, "No, but I will for the faucet."
This is why you can't send a woman to Stine's.

Hope everyone has a great day.

Welcome to the City (Long post warning)

2008-11-24T06:18:00.007-06:00

Well lots has changed with my little family since my older blogging days. Before I get back to the witty me that my 3 fans liked, I figured I would catch you up somewhat, even though I said in my last post I wouldn't bore you. You should know by now not to listen to me, so it is your own fault if you believed me.

We decided that we should move back to our hometown. We had moved to Ntz about 2 years ago and really liked our home, but it had become to be a little pain in the butt with our kids doing things with their friends. My parents were going to move to Jena to live with my brother so we were going to move into my parents house. My Dad's cancer got worse and he passed away in the beginning of August, so this was delayed somewhat, but we ended up moving into my parents house in mid to late August. Now here is where it gets interesting.

Due to a desegregation order, the schools in our hometown, Vtown, had asked for 'proof of residence'. Now I would imagine that not all towns are quite like ours because we are right on the Mississippi River. A one mile long bridge separates Vtown from Ntz, two different towns, two different states. So we have always had people that live in Ntz send their children to Vtown schools. They do this not because they think it is funny or just to break the law, but they do it for their children. The public schools in Vtown are better, parents typically want the best education for their children. Well we were already planning to move, so I went and put the utility bill in my name and took this to the school. Problem solved right? Yeah, things are never that easy for me.

As luck always has it with me, the day before I get ready to leave to go to work. Sitting in our house in Vtown, my wife and daughter come in and hand me a note saying that we have until Friday to either prove residence or take our daughter out of school. Now I found this pretty annoying, because I had just seen and talked with the Principle of the school and told him we had just about finished the house and were just about completely moved in. He went to school on Monday and sent this letter home. Well, I typed up a letter explaining that we in fact did live in Vtown, sent copies of my brand new utility bill, my LA drivers license and offered to send more proof if needed.

Well the next morning as I am flying to work in the Gulf, my wife takes this letter and these copies to the school. After waiting to get to see the Principle and Vice-Principle both of who we have known for years, she goes into this meeting and hands them the proof. The V-Principle does most of the talking and tells my wife that they know we don't live in Vtown. My wife says yes we do. They say we know ya'll don't. My wife points out that our vehicles, bank accounts, cell phone bill, work address, registered to vote and everything at this address in Vtown we are citizens of Vtown. So they point out that we own property in Ntz. To which my wife asked if it was against the law to own more than one property? Then they brought up that we didn't have a home phone number. To which my wife asked if there was a law that we didn't know about that stated that we must have a home phone. That she and I believed it was a choice, and we had chosen to all use cell phones. Then they said well your cell phone bill goes to an address in Ntz. To which my wife replied, David's doesn't and I just have not thought about changing mine. So then they said well if someone knocks on your door in Vtown and you don't answer we are going to take your child out of school. To which my wife replied, you can't tell me where I can and can't be. We own a home in Ntz that I still have to get cleaned and ready to sell. Then they said well if we knock on your door in Ntz and you answer we are going to take your daughter out of school. To which my wife said again, you can't tell me where I can and can't be. We live in Vtown and she stood up to leave. It is important to say that my wife at this point was not happy with the school. I believe she had threatened to take them out herself at this point. But when she got up to leave they told her, they couldn't let her leave when she was this upset. To which my wife replied, you can't keep me here and she walked out. I think my wife handled this very well, but I believe there is a reason things like this happen when I am not home. I would have handled this MUCH, MUCH differently.

To me, when I provided them proof of residence, that would have been it. You see because one thing I didn't mention in the story above is that they had teachers questioning my 11 year old daughter about her residence. Now for those not familiar, that is illegal. They can't question a minor without a parent present and any information they receive can't be used against that student. Learned that from a principle at another school. I would have been there about 2 minutes. I would have told them. I live here, here is proof, ask my child ONE MORE F***ING QUESTION when my wife or I am not present and you will have to deal with my attorney. Then I would have just gotten up and walked out.

They knew where we lived. Yes we had not completely moved into the house by the 1st week of school, we were in the process of moving in, but it was our home. It was were we were going to and were we do live. By the time we got this letter from the school we were staying there several nights a week, except for when the paint fumes were too much and then when the plumbing cracked and I had to turn the water off. If we would have pulled our kids out, they would have been back a few days later. To me this was all unnecessary and just plain old fashioned dumb.

But that being said, I believe their point. If you don't live there, you shouldn't be able to send your kids there. But I also believe that if you are in the process of moving into a house, all your furniture is there, everything has been changed there, you live there. Now if we had still lived in Ntz? No question, pull my kids put them in different schools, no bitch - no gripe. But this just wasn't the case.

Welcome back to the city.

Long time no see....

2008-11-23T09:14:00.003-06:00

Well hello everyone.

It has been about a year and a half since I posted last. Many things have changed in my life since last May, but I won't bore you with the details of the last 18 months. I have had a few people ask when I was going to start blogging again and sitting here at work, bored most days beyond belief, I thought I would take it up again. Plus Sassy just lost a bet. I really enjoyed blogging before and really enjoyed meeting the many people that I have talked with through the years. It is amazing to me that just by typing a few words, telling a few stories, posting some pictures you have the chance to meet many wonderful people, all with stories of their own.

Looking back:

To my knowledge I have only upset one person on my blog, without trying to and that was after I posted a picture of a deer I had taken while hunting with my Dad. They called me a "Bambi Killer" or something like that. Took me off their blog friend page and I never heard from them again. But life goes on.

I still remember my first comment I ever got on my blog, or the message behind it. The person called me boring and said I should write about something interesting. This actually freaked me out a little bit. Call me naive, but I honestly had never considered that someone other than my family would read my blog. I remember talking to my friend Tisha and telling her about it. After that I have tried to be more interesting on my blog. With the exception of this welcome back, post of course.

I also remember way back taking a cheap shot at a good friend of mine on this blog and for that I am very sorry. I have apologized to him about it but it still doesn't excuse what I did. In this new and hopefully improved version of my blog, you won't see anymore of that kinda crap.

Looking forward:

I plan to blog about things that I find interesting. Jokes that I find funny. Pictures in which I see humor in. News clips that I don't understand and basically any other thing I can think of. I am sure I will pass along a few oilfield type stories or other things that I find funny. I appreciate anytype of feedback with the exception of the "YOU STINK!!" type messages. As I have metioned before, I have 6 hours of college pshcology classes so I am pretty good at giving advice with your life's problems. If you need advice just ask ;-)

In closing of this first of hopefully many posts I'd just like to say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.

Guess Who..

2007-05-16T11:27:00.000-05:00

Well I have been home a week now, figured it was time to get back on here. First let me say belated Happy Mothers Day to all the mommy's out there. We had a cook out here and had my parents, brother and sister in law and their kids and my wife's mom come over. I cooked and did everything to let my wife have a break. I cooked some pork roast in my black pot that I let cook for about 7 hours and it was just falling to pieces. I cooked a chicken for my brother in our rotisserie. We all had a really great time, it is so good to get family over. Then I been working in my garden which is turning out to be really good. I planted two different types of cherry tomato in there for my oldest daughter who just loves them things. Well I had some start to get ripe and I picked them for her and she told me they were the best tomatoes she had eaten in a long time. I planted some broccoli and what a rip off that is. The plants cost like $2.50 each and grew one piece of broccoli. What the hell? You can get a bag of it at the store for less. So no more broccoli, but at least both my daughters got to eat some. I dug that crap up and planted 3 different type of tomato plants. My corn is about waist high now so that is doing good. My cucumbers are starting to grow in the fence so all is well in famerville. Hope everyone has been doing great. Here is a funny joke to make all this boring stuff go away LOL

Then there was the soldier who was talking to Chelsea Clinton.

She asked him what he feared most.

He said there were only 3 things he was afraid of...

Osama, Obama and Yo Mama

Happy Anniversary Renee'

2007-05-06T06:18:00.000-05:00

Well 18 years ago I was waking up with a pretty good hangover. I had gone out drinking and riding around before my wedding. I was 19 years old about to marry my high school sweetheart who I had been dating for 3 years, she was 18 years old and still in high school. Lots of people told us to wait, that we were too young but I guess because we were so young we didn't listen. We didn't really care what they thought or what they wanted us to do. We were young, we were in love and we were getting married. My wife still had a week of high school left, but since I had joined the Navy and was leaving for boot camp soon, we decided to get married so we could have some time together before I left for boot. We got married, went to Biloxi Mississippi to the beach for our honeymoon where we stayed 3 nights and came back home so Renee' could finish up her high school finals. Just about 2 weeks later, I left for boot camp and headed to San Diego, CA. For the next few years we traveled all over. We lived in La Mesa, CA while I was in school in San Diego. We left there and moved to Glenview, IL where I was stationed. I then went back to school in San Diego and we lived in El Cajon, CA. After that school I was stationed on the US Navy Air Craft Carrier - USS Theodore Roosevelt (CVN-71) and we moved to Virginia Beach, VA. The greatest thing about that place is that is where my beautiful daughter Katelyn was born. Shortly after she was born, I went to sea for 6 months and Renee' and Katie went back home to Vidalia, LA. When I got back from sea we lived in Norfolk, VA which we both loved! Of course after I got out of the Navy, we moved back home and stayed there for not quite a year before I decided to go back to college and we moved to Thibodaux, LA. I attended Nicholls State University for about a year and a half until I graduated. After I graduated I got a new job for twice what I had been making, so never forget EDUCATION IS KEY!! But unfortunately this job wanted me to live closer to where I would be working so we moved to Ball, LA which is right outside of Alexandria, LA. At this time my wife was pregnant with our second daughter so I told the company I was working for I was moving back home and we did where our second beautiful daughter, Ashlyn was born. We have lived around Vidalia ever since.

My wife and I have done a lot of things during our 18 years. We have proved a lot of people wrong who gave us “6 months at the most” when we got married. It has been tough at times, easy at others. We have fought, we have yelled, we have screamed, we have cussed. But we have mostly just loved each other. We still hold hands almost everywhere we go. She is my best friend. She is the love of my life. She is the woman that I still dream of at night. She is my soul mate. I love you Renee’. More today than yesterday and more tomorrow than today, you and only you.

Sometimes you hear a song that reminds you of certain things in your life. I am a fan of Montgomery Gentry and they currently have a song out called ‘Lucky Man’. So much in this song reminds me of how lucky I am, especially this verse:

But I know I'm a lucky man
God's given me a pretty fair hand

Got a house and a piece of land

A few dollars in a coffee can

My old trucks still running good

My ticker's ticking like they say it should

I got supper in the oven, a good woman's loving

And one more day to be my little kid's dad

Lord, knows I'm a lucky man

How true is that? Thank you Renee’ for everything you have given me. Your friendship, your heart, your love. Thank you for everything you have been to me. Thank you for being my wife for all these years, you have truly made me a Lucky Man. I wish I was home to share this day with you, but we will just have to make it up when I come home. I miss you and I love you with all my heart.

Truly, A lucky man.

Cool pics from my email

2007-05-02T09:36:00.000-05:00

I am not sure where people get all these cool pictures they send me to my email. I got these the other day and thought they were fantastic. I mean I get a lot of cool pictures in my email, but since most of the people that read my blog are females (or gay - Butch) I don't think putting the other ones on here would meet with much approval. But I think you will agree, these are pretty awesome.

These pictures were taken down by my pond. He had my Black Lab in his belly but I cut him open and let my dog loose. Prissy came out and looked at me and said "Holy shit, that is one big ass snake!"

Got some cool pictures like this? Or the ones of you naked (Tisha.... NOT BUTCH!) Send them to me, I like to get them. dwcooley@hotmail.com or look for me on yahoo chat dwcooley51

Funny News

2007-04-30T16:16:00.000-05:00

Ok, ya'll know how I love to find humor in the news. This story was just too funny. It seems over in India this guy was about to marry himself a teenage bride. But he showed up to the wedding drunk and was rude to the guest's so her family chased him off. Her family then invited the groom's brother to marry their daughter and he readily agreed. It didn't mention that he was upset about his brother marrying his fiance, they just reported that he was upset that it might get out that he showed up drunk because then he would not be able to find another bride. Hilarious!!

You can go hear to read the story.

News from home

2007-04-25T22:10:00.000-05:00

Well I have been pretty busy here at the homestead since getting in from offshore, so not much blogging. We had some bad stuff happen today as we lost one of our dogs. Wiener dog, (Francis) was run over and we buried him in our little pet cemetery. My oldest daughter and wife have taken it pretty hard. He was a great little dog and we used to laugh and tell everyone that he wasn't ours he just "came with the house", but that wasn't true. Although he did come with the house we have considered him ours. We gave him medicine, flea and tick drops, treats, we bought him a little kennel (took the gate off) that he could use as a dog house. He was ours, and we will all miss him.

My youngest daughter had her P.E. day today and I got a couple of great videos of her dancing and stuff. They do line dancing and things in P.E. which is actually great exercise. I also got a really great picture of her and her boyfriend Landon. We got their school pictures today too, so I will scan them and get them on here soon.

Other than that things are going pretty well. My dad and I went fishing yesterday and had a big fish fry today. It was pretty good if I don't mind saying so myself. I got a copy cat recipe for KFC's cole slaw (which is awesome! KFC's not mine) but mine didn't turn out too bad. I think it needed more sauce and next time I will make the adjustments needed for that. The things in our garden are coming up everywhere. I got my potato's planted today so the garden is full. I planted beans last week and almost everyone of them are up already. Our tomato plants already have mater's on them so we are farmers fo sho now. I have even started wearing bib overalls everywhere I go. Got a straw hat ordered from eBay. Got the dog on the porch already, it is official, I am a hick.

Funny Pictures

2007-04-25T21:59:00.000-05:00

Disclaimer: I didn't do or make these pictures, I just found them funny so I posted them here to keep from having to come up with something funny or annoying. They are pretty funny though.

Some pictures from around our yard

2007-04-18T11:03:00.000-05:00

Well I was walking around the yard and thought it would be nice to take some pictures. So here are a few that I took.

The famed "Fruit Basket Tree". If you look at the limb on the top left, you can actually see the first fruit produced on this tree. I have no idea what it is, but it is some sort of fruit. Of that I am 100% certain. If you look closely you can see the different types of leaves on the tree. Each limb will grow and produce a different fruit. I am just curious to see if the main trunk will grow much higher and what it will have on it. Been an interesting tree so far.

I really like the way this picture turned out. This is a picture of the fruit (first season to bear) on my Karla Rose Nectarine tree. The tree has about 8 nectarines on it which I thought was pretty cool! My fruit orchard coming to life. My 10 year old is already wanting to sell it :)

This is my Catalpa Tree that my parents bought my wife and I as a gift. These trees when they get infested by the Sphinx moth their larvae which are called Catalpa worms, are EXCELLENT fishing bait.

This is a picture of my Moro Blood Orange Tree. When I was in the Navy and we went out on our MedCruise (6 month cruise in the Mediterranean) they had blood oranges on our ship. I bought two of these trees last year along with two Satsuma and a Lemon tree. The lemon and satsuma tree's look like they will produce this year. Hopefully the orange will produce next year.

This is a picture of our garden. We have tomato, cherry tomato, corn, bell pepper's, broccoli, cucumbers, sugar snap peas, sweet peas, green beans, lima beans, watermelon and cantaloupe planted in there so far. I have some seed potato's ordered that should be here any day and then I will plant them in there as well. So far things are coming up pretty good. You can't see it in this picture, but in the right hand corner of the picture I have a Strawberry Tree planted that is growing nicely. I planted one last year but it wasn't getting enough sunlight so it died. This one has new growth all over it so hopefully next year I will have strawberries on it!

Well that will do it for this post. I have some more pictures that I will probably post in the next day or so of all our animals and stuff.

Thank - You's

2007-04-18T10:49:00.000-05:00

Well first I'd like to send some Thank-you's to all the people that stopped by from Tisha's blog to wish me a Happy Birthday. I had a great birthday and the cake my daughter's made me was so great that there was not but a single piece left and that quickly got taken care of. So thanks everyone!

I'd also like to say thank you to my gay friend Butch. I'd like to state for the record that I have nothing against gay people. I think lesbians are fantastic! I do have a gay friend, his name is Butch and he sent me a dozen long stem red roses for my birthday. Now tell me that isn't a great friend. Renee' and I just got a new bed room suite and she had just said, "You know what would look so pretty here? A fresh flower arraignment! That would just put that finishing touch to it" and low and behold the very next day Butch sends me roses. Thanks Butch! You're the bestest gay friend a fella could ask for.

My blog friend TamWill asked me what type of cake I was going to make my wife and the answer is none! LOL I am sure my daughter will take care of that for me, if not the grocery store close to us has a great bakery department or either a cake from that cake creation place. I got her clothes. She already has them since they went to Baton Rouge shopping and she called and said "Since I am here, and since they have the clothes I want, can I go ahead and get them for my Birthday?" So I said yes. But I will have to get her a surprise for her birthday. Maybe breakfast in bed or something.

A Lucky Person

2007-04-15T08:47:00.000-05:00

Well today is my Birthday, I just turned 37. I am not like a lot of people that freak out about getting older. My age has never really been an issue to me. I love watching my children grow up, without getting older how could I get to see them turn into the beautiful young women they are turning out to be? How could I see them chase and pursue their dreams? No, getting older is something that doesn't bother me a bit. Last night my oldest made me one of my favorite cakes ever! Strawberry with Strawberry icing. She is only 14, but is a wonderful baker! She started out with the easy bake oven, but lets face it. That thing only makes enough of a cookie or cake to piss you off and make you want more cake. So when she started that I took her to Walmart and said "Pick something". Ever since then she has gotten better and better and better at baking. She enjoys it and is really great at it. My youngest came to me at right after midnight and gave me an awesome LSU hat, which is a gift from my daughters. My youngest has always been great with gifts. She learned early on that she never can go wrong with a gift she picks out for her Daddy. So for many years my birthday gifts were "fishy thingies" that I still have saved. My wife got on me one time saying "she picks them out and you don't use them!" So I explained to her that, that was exactly "why" I didn't. After a few years of this she got smarter and smarter. My next few gifts were things like Candyland and this cool Pirate Game that had a huge Pirate Ship and everything. Her logic was "Daddy likes games and I like games, so I got him a game we could play together and if he doesn't want to play with it, I still can". Now how could you argue with that? My wife will pamper me all day, that is sort of a tradition that she started, because her birthday is next week and I will pamper her. We are one year and one week apart. She always treats me so great on my birthday. Well she always treats me great everyday, just a touch more so on my Birthday. I would tell you what she gave me, but she gets embarrassed easy so I won't ;-)

(OK, she got me a new pair of shoes, that I really needed badly!)

I would also like to say Thank-You SO VERY VERY VERY MUCH, to my friend Tisha. She is such a wonderful, special person. We have been friends through the Internet for a long time. She made me this wonderful post dedication for my birthday today that is just AWESOME! If you have not seen it, you really should, she did a wonderful job! While you are there check out her blog! She has a wonderful blog that wins all sorts of awards and stuff because of how creative she is with it. You will really enjoy it! Thanks again Tisha!!

Taking online gaming to the next level

2007-04-10T12:09:00.000-05:00

Get it gaming to the next level? Anyway, as I was going over a few websites I came across this article that really caught my attention. It seems this 31 year old woman who enjoys playing an online game called World of Warcraft (WOW) decided that she needed some online gold to get her epic mount. Her add started off something like "I need 5,000 gold for my epic flying mount and in return I'll let you mount me!" So she actually had someone give her the 5,000 gold and met him and banged him according to her ad.

It also caught my eye that as long if you had the gold she would even be OK with being with a woman, if you have the gold. She also claims she would not be adverse to groups or anal, if you have the gold. Now I am not 100% sure but I think she wants some damn WoW gold!! I went and looked it up to see what this was in real life money. The cheapest place to buy gold for WoW is a place called Guy4Game and to purchase 5,000 gold it costs $923.52. So basically this guy paid over $900 to sleep with this girl. I will openly admit something here and now to both the people that read this. I have never paid to be with a woman but I can think of at least 5 people without trying that I know that have and I can tell you, this guy got fucked in more ways than one.

He WAYYY over paid. Now unless this woman was just someone he knew, and just wanted to have, maybe and it is a long shot maybe. But $900 would be considered extremely steep. I know a guy who slept with 2 women in the same night in Houston and he paid $600 and the women they sent him were to his description (one a tall blonde with long legs, the other a small woman of Asian decent). So to me this story is funny and I am not 100% sure it is true, but it is funny to me that a woman would sleep with a stranger for game money. The other funny part is the guy could have sold the gold on eBay and came out with enough cash to hire two or three women. Oh well, I guess that is why they call them Fantasy games.

What the hell?

2007-04-09T13:03:00.000-05:00

So yesterday we were going through some really bad weather. Wind, rain, heavy seas. Well it calmed down for a little bit so I eased out to the handrail to do my part to keep the Gulf of Mexico from drying up and as I came around the corner it looked like a deer skin laying on the grating. I stopped and leaned around the corner so I could get a better look and it wasn't a deer skin, it was a pelican asleep on the deck. So I eased back in and got my camera and went around to the other side to take its picture. It kind of shocked me though because when I came around the corner I noticed he had one eye open and one eye closed. I got my pictures and eased away because he acted kind of cranky that I woke him from his nap.

I suck at blogging. Sue me

2007-04-03T14:21:00.000-05:00

Well what a busy time it has been for me. Got home from work late Friday, worked in the yard/garden ALL day Saturday, went to Houston Sunday for a class and was gone until late Thursday. Busy, busy, busy. I had a tree fall down by my pond. I don't know if I should sell my 4 wheeler or fill the pond up with dirt, but I had a pretty bad accident on my 4 wheeler dragging it up the bank. My bike was already on an incline then dragging the limb it got caught in the roots of the tree and it was instantaneous, that big bitch flipped over and rolled across me and down the hill. Was kind of cute though to hear my wife running down the hill. Notice I said "hear" because my face was buried in the ground, I couldn't "see" her. LOL. But other than a few bruises and cuts and the bolt on the seat of my 4 wheeler breaking (I fixed that) no big deal. That is one bad ass 4 wheeler though. That is twice I have flipped it down hills, my Dad ran it off into a bar pit and it still runs like it is brand new.

Lets see, I had posted about my mother-in-law not too long ago. Well she just can't catch a break. My wife just got back from Florida yesterday from sitting with her. She had some sort of blockage in her stomach and they had to operate on her lower intestines. Best I can figure from talking to my wife is, her stomach was blocked and her body was basically poisoning itself. They had tubes down her mouth pumping her stomach out. So my wife went down there for about 3 days to be with her mom. From what she told me today they have taken all the tubes out and she seems to be doing much better. I hope for a long time, she needs a break.

Other than those two things, everything else is going great. My mom is getting better. My Dad broke his ankle trying out a crawfish hole. Well I guess that isn't so great, but he is doing pretty good. He is in a walking cast so he still gets around pretty good. He and I are going to put out some yo-yo's when I get home to try and load our freezers up with catfish. YUMMY!!

We got more pets. We have a regular petting zoo at the house now. My youngest daughter wanted another cat after she toted this one all the way around the block at my parents. She said it followed her home, but it is not like it had a choice after she carried it almost a mile. It was probably lost. Anyway, we went to the pound and she got two kittens. Her favorite was Miley and she entered it in the 4-H pet show and it won like 3 ribbons. Well the time came to have them fixed and as luck would have it, Miley didn't make it. The vet said he wasn't sure what happened, she made it thru surgery and then passed an hour later. So yep, gotta get her a new cat. So back to the pound and she picks out a pretty little cat and names it M.J. (m dot j dot as she says) and it stands for Miley Jr. My oldest daughter who is the only one in our home that didn't really have her own dog wanted a dog and since I love my kids and love to see them happy I let her get a dog. She picked out a Blue Healer and she is BEAUTIFUL! The vet could not believe we got her at the pound. At first we were scared she would get there and the other pets would be mean to her, that was not the case. She pretty much walked in there and took over as dominate dog. My lab didn't do anything to her because she was sitting at my feet. But once they got outside, Sadie (my daughters dog) was given a lesson in who the dominate dog of the yard was. But she is a very pretty dog and seems to be extremely intelligent. So both my girls are happy.

Hope everyone has been doing good. I will try to update more often. I can usually do a lot more posting from offshore, but that has not been the case this time out. We have been busier than we have been in a long long time.

Memories. .

2007-03-14T11:38:00.000-05:00

Isn't it something how sometimes just a little thing can bring back such a rush of memories? Memories from your childhood, last week, last year, just from all over the place. It usually isn't anything major either just a smell, something you eat or anything. I woke up this morning and went to eat breakfast and they had these pork chops. Not like real thick or shake and bake pork chops, just these thin cut like pan fried pork chops and it immediately made me think of my Granny :-)

When I was growing up, every Sunday after church we would go spend some time with my Granny and my PawPaw. Every Sunday my Granny had me a pork chop to eat after church. This was just one of them things like the sun coming up that was just going to happen. I had my own special plate and everything. Well I don't know how she cooked them or what she did, but man those were some good pork chops! To be honest, I am not a big pork chop eater. I like some shake and baked, but other than that I just don't eat them very often. But I had one today because they reminded me of my Granny and trust me, those are memories worth bringing up and thinking about.

Lets talk about trees, I am a regular Johhny Appleseed

2007-03-13T12:00:00.000-05:00

Man I am so glad this hitch is almost over. It has been one of the busiest hitches I have had in a long time and the time has passed quickly but dayum. I am ready to get home and get to work in our new garden. I ordered a lot of trees last year and some of the didn't make it so I ordered some more this year to replace them. I was ordering some and a couple of the guys I work with saw them and one of them ordered some. They ordered a tree very similar to the one's I got last year for me and my dad. I got the Fruit Salad Tree, last year which grows Red Plums, Nectarines, Peaches, Apricots and Giant Purple Plums. Well I was at another of the sites I like to look at and they have what is called a Fruit Cocktail Tree, which grows six different kinds of fruits even though it is the same as the one I have (plums, nectarines, peaches and apricots). A lot of people didn't really believe me about these types of trees but there are actually many types of these trees. There is a 3-in-1 dwarf citrus tree that grow oranges, lemons and tangerines on the same tree which is made to be an inside tree. There is a 5-on-1 Apple tree which grows five different types of apples and even a 5-on-1 Pear tree that grows 5 different types of Pears. I really think after everything gets to growing and producing we are going to look around and go holy shit, I think we over did it. Well really not "we" so much as "me", but my wife shouldn't have let me get it all. My youngest daughter is already thinking of prices that she can sell stuff for up on the highway market. I told her whatever she picks, she can sell and she is ready to start selling stuff today. But we will see if she still wants to do it in a few years when everything is producing.

Divorce, expensive because it is worth it! ! ! !

2007-03-10T13:40:00.000-06:00

German man chain saws house in two in divorce split, takes his half

BERLIN - A 43-year-old German decided to settle his imminent divorce by chain sawing a family home in two and making off with his half in a forklift truck.

Police in the eastern town of Sonneberg said on Friday the trained mason measured the single-story summer house — which was some 8 meters (26 feet) long and 6 meters wide — before chain sawing through the wooden roof and walls.

"The man said he was just taking his due," said a police spokesman. "But I don't think his wife was too pleased."

After finishing the job, the man picked up his half with the forklift truck and drove to his brother's house, where he has since been staying.

Now this guy took, getting half to the next level. This is an actual news clipping from here.

Inspired to tell the tale

2007-03-06T11:48:00.000-06:00

Well recently after a very entertaining email where I was pretty much told that a friend almost hated me just because of my name (OK that is not really what she said, but much funnier that way! LOL) It actually reminded me of a very similar story.

I was working offshore on a drill ship that I had never been to. After a few days I walk into the galley to eat and there is a woman there in the galley (yes they have women that work offshore) and she is looking at me like I was the seed of evil. As luck would have it she is sitting by all the people I usually sit with so I walk over there and sit down and she has yet to take a bite to eat. She is just looking at me like she is about to vomit or attack me, I couldn't decide which. So I look at here and go "Is there a problem?" and she almost yells at me "WHERE are you from???" to which I replied Vidalia, LA and then she does scream "BULLSHIT!!!! I KNOW YOU, YOU NO GOOD MOTHER F***ER!! YOU ARE THE KID THAT TORMENTED ME WHILE I WAS GROWING UP!!!"

To this I was literally speechless. I mean what do you say to someone you know is obviously crazy? I just looked at her and calmly said "Did someone forget to take there medication today?" and she literally looked like she was about to lunge for me to try and choke the life out of me. So I calmly looked at her and said "Look you obviously have me confused with someone else, now leave me the fuck alone crazy lady." After that I pretty much ignored her and whatever she was saying.

The next day, I kid you not she walks up just as nice and polite and sits down at the table and said "Well I know you are not that kid. Last night I called my mom and told her that the little asshole that lived down the street and harassed me my entire life was actually out on the rig with me and she told me that was not possible because he had moved off to (I can't remember where)" So I looked at her and said "You called your mom on me?" You don't even know me and you called your mom on me?" I started laughing and she gave me that look again and I just turned around and ignored her.

Safe to say we never became friends. But she never gave me a chance just because she thought I looked like someone she knew while growing up. So let this be a lesson, don't judge people because they look like someone you used to know, or because their name is the same name of every guy you ever had a problem with.

Ever want to just slap someone for being dumb?

2007-03-05T08:04:00.000-06:00

That is how I am feeling now. Work is shit. They got problems so they are looking for someone to blame and guess who is getting the finger pointed at them? Well think I am about to start pointing one back, but it isn't going to be my pointer finger. Sometimes you just gotta grow the fuck up and take responsibility for the things you mess up instead of just trying to blame people. Ridiculous. . . LOL.

New Title, same great bullshit

2007-03-03T07:41:00.000-06:00

Well it seems I post A LOT more when I am offshore than I do when I am home so I changed the name of my blog to "David's Offshore Blog and Babble". I just have so much more time out here than I do at home that it is hard to update. I get up and surf porn until about noon where I go into the kitchen and scratch and ask my wife if we have anything for lunch. Then I eat and surf more porn. Then I shower and get dressed and next thing you know it is time for kids to get home, and then bed time. I mean how can I blog in the middle of all that?

Well as you probably guessed I am back at work. My mother in law is doing better, thanks to those who asked about her. My kids were sure glad to see their moma get home. They are used to Daddy leaving for work, but they were kind of shell shocked that their moma wasn't there at night. My daughter Ashie called her about every 5 minutes to ask "Where are you now? Well call me when you get here!" She had signs up on the door and everything. It was very sweet.

So, what's new with you?

2007-02-26T20:39:00.000-06:00

Well since I have posted last, I have been pretty busy. My dad and I went down to the hunting lease and got some stand work done. We will have to go back after the river falls some more to get the rest done, but we got a good start.

My oldest daughter decided that she didn't want to try out for high school cheerleader. My wife and I were a little disappointed at first but after we talked about it we both agreed that we would rather her not do something that she didn't really want to do. Being a cheerleader at the high school seems like it would be a lot different than it was at the junior high. For instance the day after tryouts, they start practice. They get 3 weeks off in the summer, the rest of the time they have camps, then the little Viking camp they put on. The sponsor said the only excuse acceptable for missing practice or camps or anything else was death in the family. But she is going to be a water girl for the football team so she is excited about that. We are too, because she will still be doing something to stay active.

My youngest is still doing great. They have been exploring back on the back of our property and came up with a Fort, she calls it "Track City" because of all the deer tracks and dog tracks they found in the creek bed. She has a little boyfriend now and he got her a necklace for Valentines Day. It is actually pretty sweet. She said he goes to get Kleenex 100 times a day because he has to walk by her desk. The other day they were going to lunch and he kept calling her name and she didn't hear him so he yells really loud "ASHIE!!! HEY!! IT'S ME!! YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!" So she said that was quite embarrassing even though he is the best looking boy in my grade. Yeah she is too funny.

My wife is in Florida. Her mom is really sick. They had to rush her to ICU because her heart rate got so low. Got so low they had to shock her to get it back actually. She has been there like 4 days and they still have no idea what is causing it. They have done every test you can think of, but for some reason every day her heart rate drops so low they all get scared it is just going to stop. Hopefully they will find out what is causing it and get it fixed up. I am hoping she comes home soon, she told me she is coming home tomorrow depending on the results of the stress test and all that.

Other than that, I plowed up a large section of my yard yesterday. My wife and I decided to start ourselves a garden which should be really funny since neither of us has every fooled with a garden before. Then to top it off my dogs chase deer in our yard all the time. I got all my stuff today to build a 6 foot tall fence but the guy at the store just laughed at me and said that deer would jump a 6' tall fence to get into a garden. I said good, then they will be easy to tack after I shoot their ass. Nothing like fresh meat and vegetables.

The Killing Field

2007-02-21T14:12:00.000-06:00

Well when we first moved into this house it used to kind of startle us when we would walk outside and the pets had killed something and drug it up on the porch. Now it startles me when I walk outside and there is not something dead on the porch. It used to just be two of the dogs that would kill anything they could catch in the yard. My youngest daughter talked us into getting two kittens who have since joined in the fray. I don't know if they have some sort of competition going on or what, but you can walk outside and see the kittens in the woods sneaking up on and killing stuff. Chipmunks? They better not bring their little asses within sight of our property or they are #1 on the death list. I didn't know there were that many chipmunks in the state of Mississippi, but they seem to kill at least one of those per day. Robins? They must be the stupidest bird that fly's. The kittens are killing at least 2 if not more a day. Squirrel? Yep Emma has caught and killed a full grown squirrel. The latest thing that kind of made me go Wow? A mole. We noticed something burrowing in the yard. It had made a " Y " like trench in the front. We were looking at it one day and I told Renee, well whatever it is isn't going to be around much longer. I went to work that day and it was on the porch the next morning. I guess it should be no surprise that we have not had a mice problem since we have been living out here in the woods. OH! And turtles! Almost forgot about that. We have a small pond in the back, Prissy will actually catch the turtles and bring them up here and run around with them in her mouth. Think about that the next time you let a dog lick you in the mouth. . No telling what they have killed and mouthed all over.

Office DONE!

2007-02-20T14:01:00.000-06:00

Well I know I have posted on here over and over about getting our office re-painted and all that. Well I finally finished it up yesterday. I had it about 80% done before I went to work this time, but they called me so I had to close the door and wait until I got home. Well it turned out really great looking I think. I have my deer head and my fish hung up. My daughter's boyfriends - Dad is a city planner and he gave me a poster size print out of our hunting lease so I framed that and hung it up on the wall. Instead of painting the moulding that goes around the ceiling I stained it with Oak and then put a polyurethane clear coat on it. That really helped the look of the room. I was kind of worried that my women would think it was too manly but surprisingly they all loved it. They were none too happy when I put the "MEN ONLY" sign on the door, but hey I have been shacked up with nothing but women so long I am starting to actually like to listen to Ashley Tisdale, so I need a testosterone filled room to get back to farting and burping and scratching with all the manly pride I can muster! I need to rearrange the room now so my wifey poo can sit in here with me. We used to have our computers side by side and now they are in different parts of the house but we want them closer together. Call us weird but we just like to spend more time together now :0) (Plus she can't say she didn't hear me anymore when I ask her to get me a drink! LOL)

5 Things I Haven't Mentioned Before

2007-02-15T08:52:00.000-06:00

I have been tagged by my friend, Tisha to do a MeMe. The purpose of this Meme is for me to tell you 5 things that I have not previously revealed on this blog. This should be extremely difficult since doing this blog I have told a whole bunch of stuff about me. I don't know if I can keep up with Tisha since she went as far as to list who took her virginity (it was me by the way!), since the girl that got mine doesn't even know she was the lucky one. I was well prepared for that day, because I knew it was a lock, a sure thing if you will. . . But anyway here we go.

1. I have 3 testicles (Not really, but that made you got WHAT?!?!?! didn't it?)
If I walk into a store that has a lot of scent's. Like Bath & Body, fragrance shops, candle stores and such. I immediately start to sneeze. I love the way my wife smells with the lotions on, but man. . . . candle stores or fragrance shops? Make me almost pass out from sneezing I avoid them like the plague.

2. Since I am talking about sneezing. When I was in high school I had allergies and my nose would bleed a lot. I went to our family doctor and he put this medicine up in my nose and I immediately started to sneeze. I sneezed so many times in a row, that when I finished I was laid out across the table with my shirt and hair wet from sweat and I could hardly catch my breath. The doctor had actually just leaned back in his chair to watch me. He said he had actually lost count of how many times I had sneezed but he was sure it was a new Guinness record. I almost cried when he said he had to do the other side. When I walked out into the waiting area everyone there had their eyes wide and were staring at me like I was nuts. Guess because my hair was wet and standing straight up and my shirt was soaked with sweat and my eyes were almost swollen, I sneezed just as bad from the 2nd side as I did from the first.

3. I was scared of heights until I started working offshore. Something about hanging over 100' off the ground with nothing but a 1" rope holding you, gets you over your fear pretty quick. Guess like someone throwing you into the lake to teach you to swim.

4. I self taught myself how to build computers from scratch.

5. When I was in the Navy, I was on my 6 month sea deployment and requested to re-enlist. I was turned down after almost 5 years in the Navy. Turned down. Flat told NO. When I had never gotten below a 4.0 out of a 4.0 on my evals or anything. Turned down when a friend of mine had been begged, BEGGED to re-enlist and he had been to the brig and on bread and water three times. That is right. BREAD and WATER only for 3 days..... 3 different times. But I wasn't good enough? LOL (True story by the way about the bread and water and being told NO)

Well that is it. 5 things you probably didn't already know, and probably could care less about. The thing is I have to tag 5 people now and don't know if 5 still read my blog. I know Poshmanski and Sassywhohasafineassy does and Tisha and Becca and Diane just said HEY! HEY DIANE MANDY!!! So I will just say if you want to do it, leave a comment and we will all come check it out :)

Oh, the Navy. They turned me down because my billet (my job) was over manned at 115%. So they told me no on my re-enlistment even though I had gone back to school and gotten a specialty billet (advanced school) and my job was manned at like 60%. During the week where they had told me No, they wanted me to go talk to a planner and re-enlist but as a different billet, wanted me to go back to school to learn something else. I told them I had learned enough and decided to get out. I loved the Navy don't get me wrong. Loved it. But I was glad I got out when I did.

OH!!! I was also kidding about it being me that took Tisha's virginity. HaHa. I could hear her yell "THAT LYING MOTHER F**KER!!" all the way from Arkansas when she read that.
Even though I consider her to be one of my greatest friends, I have never actually met her. We have just talked on line for about 7 years :-) and she is a wonderful wonderful friend. She got me into blogging so blame you having to sit through my poor sense of humor on her.

Really great poem. . .

2007-02-15T08:29:00.000-06:00

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Tampa, Florida, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Missouri . The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem. And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this "anonymous" poem winging across the Internet.

Crabby Old Man

What do you see nurses? ......What do you see?
What are you thinking......when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man, ....not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .......with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food.......and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice....."I do wish you'd try!"
Who seems not to notice .....the things that you do.
And forever is losing .............. a sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not...........lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding ....... the long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse......you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am ....... as I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .......as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten......with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .......who love one another

A young boy of Sixteen ...........with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now. ..........a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty .........my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows........that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now ......... I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide ........ and a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty ........ my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other ......... with ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons ........have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me........to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .......... babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children ......... my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me .......... my wife is now dead.
I look at the future .............I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing ........young of their own.
And I think of the years...... and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man.........and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age .......look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles..........grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone........where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass ...... a young guy still dwells,
And now and again .........my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys.............. I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living.............life over again.

I think of the years ...all too few......gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact........that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people ..........open and see..
Not a crabby old man. Look closer....see........ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.....we will all, one day, be there, too!

Happy Valentines Day

2007-02-14T07:45:00.000-06:00

Well I want to wish everyone a Happy Valentines Day. Today is supposed to be a day filled with love and happiness. So I hope you let who ever you love know, how much you love them, or if you are crushing on someone today would be a good day to let them know. I got a survey on Myspace the other day and one of the questions on it was "Ever liked someone and didn't let them know because you were scared?" Almost everyone that did the survey answered Yes. I was even one of them. But thinking back, why? What are you scared of? What is the big deal? The person you like might just like you back. If they don't they might after you tell them how you feel. They might have written you off as "no chance". Life is too short to hide your feelings I think. Take the time we have and let the people you love know you love them.

So with that. .

My dear love, I miss you so very much
Your beautiful smile
The gentleness of your touch
Your eyes as they sparkle
Your eyes as they shine
Your love as I realize
That it’s mine all mine.
Your happiness and kindness
Your compassion and sorrow
Your hand resting in mine today
And for every tomorrow
Your love as you give it
Each and every day
Making me the happiest man
In the world, with EVERY day
Being Valentines Day

I love you Renee'

V-Day

2007-02-13T07:40:00.000-06:00

Valentine's Day is coming up, all you ladies all excited about it? I was planning on getting my wife some flowers, but she told me if I did she would beat my ass. We are planning on going on a date when I get home to celebrate Valentines Day. I like that better than flowers. I mean flowers are pretty, but they die and then what? They mark flowers up 500% on V-Day to rip you off so why buy them? I would much rather take my wifey out to have a good time, a nice meal and all that than to buy her something that will be dead before I even get home from work. To me you should buy flowers more than once a year anyway. I brought her some flowers this time I was home, just because and to me that is more special that a day where you are "expected" to bring flowers and stuff. You should not do it just because it is V-Day, you should do it because you want to and because you love someone. To me V-Day is more about sexy lingerie and stuff. Have you seen the little sexy outfits with hearts on them that barely cover up anything? Now see, THERE, now we are talking. Forget the candy and flowers I want fish nets and garter belts. I want shear pink lingerie on my woman covered in cool whip. Now that is what V-Day is all about.

Information

2007-02-12T07:25:00.000-06:00

Ok, so many of you. . . many of you? Ok that is the funniest thing I have posted in a long time. Many people do not read my blog so let me restate that. Ok, so you (get it? you. . . for the one person that reads this. . . as in singular. . . come on!! That was funny!! Anyway sheesh) Ok, so you may already have seen this, you may not have. But I got this sent to me and I went and looked at it, and it shocked me. I had never heard of it, read about it or anything else. There is a website that deals with fake rumors and things that go on the internet and they even claim this is real. It is called lock bumping and it makes me want to change all the locks on my house. Go here to see what I am talking about:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hr23tpWX8lM&eurl

After you watch it and you are like me and want to confirm that this is actually true. That this can actually be done, you can go to the link below to confirm it, or even google it if you like.

http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/bumpkeys.asp

Although I am a firm believer in the fact that you can't keep people out of your house, I am also a firm believer that you should not go out of your way to make it easy for them. We have little flip latches on all of our doors. The only way to get past them is to break the door in. I think that might wake me up. That and my 70 pound dog raising hell. But wanted to warn and inform anyone that stops by. I found it ecspecially interesting where they say that if the key fits in the lock, it can be used as a bump key. So anyone that basically has a key to the same brand lock you have, has a bump key. When I get home I plan to test this myself.

Never a truer picture made. . . .

2007-02-09T10:36:00.000-06:00

Well I have been on a theme this time it seems. Post pictures, make witty comments, go on about my business.

Well this is probably the most accurate picture ever made. It is 100% true and can't even be debated. This is just how it is. Feel free to comment. . .

New Surgery sweeping the nation

2007-02-06T18:26:00.000-06:00

Well I saw this on MSND and thought it was a hoax, but I checked with my people and sure enough it is legit!! Man did this take forever for someone to come up with or what?? This is something that should have come out in the 50's but is just now making its way into most of the clinics. From what I have been able to find out, this procedure costs well over 6 figures and that 99% of the clinics that offer this, are booked up for well over 2 years. I am thinking of selling my house to be able to afford it, but I think living in a box would be well worth being able to afford this! What do you think?

Too good to be true??

2007-02-05T17:19:00.000-06:00

Well I am going to go out and admit something here I probably shouldn't. I have been online looking at Match.com and all these sites to find me a woman, not one to keep, just one to mess with. I keep seeing so much on TV and the internet about them that I said hell why not? Just in fun you know?? Just trying to see how funny it would be and all that. Well I can't believe it. I found someone who was funny and everything just seemed to be right you know? She was funny and was interested in all the things I am interested in, but the more I talked to her, the more things just seemed too perfect. So I started to get a little bit concerned that maybe this wasn't as perfect as it sounded. Maybe there was something up with this little deal. So I asked for a picture. I mean I had already seen the "face" shot you know? But maybe that was her sister or something, so I asked for the whole picture. She sent it to me but damn, something just still does not seem right!! I have looked and looked and I just can't figure it out. Oh well, I think I am just going to ignore her and not write back. I mean my wife would probably de-nutt me if she found out anyway, so this is probably best. I added her picture on here, maybe my 2-3 readers could help me out and take a look. Pretty huh? Once you go Asian, you forget about caucasion is what I heard. . .

*This is a joke by the way. I made up the story after I got the picture in my email.

Email Joke

2007-02-04T13:10:00.000-06:00

Well due to my lack of creativity today because Galveston, Tx from where I live is such a pain in the ass drive. I swear, I NEVER thought I would get here. Then I get here go to the dock to drop off my equipment and when I start to un-load it the guy asks me about the same time I notice, there is no paper work with it. They won't accept it on the boat without MSDS sheets. So I have to dig my computer out and put the MSDS sheets on a jump drive. I got there at 10:30pm got to the hotel at 12:30am. Yeah plus it took me almost 8 hours to get here to start with. MAN!! Did I get used to being home or what!!!

Anyway so here is an email I got that I thought was pretty damn funny. . .

NEW RULES FOR 2007:
1.) New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
2.) New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days -- mowing my lawn.
3.) New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Lobster?
4.) New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: "Lucky bastards."
5.) New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.
6.) New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
7.) New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
8.) New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.
9.) New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're such a huge asshole.
10.) New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
11.) New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
12.) New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."
13.) New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&Ms. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.
14.) New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
15.) New Rule: And this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your webcam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.
16.) New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear "27 months." "He's two" will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
17.) New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying, "Do you want fries with that?"

Forgot I had a blog.

2007-01-31T08:24:00.000-06:00

Well I have been home since December 21st. I think I have cabin fever and I know I am driving my family nuts. But there is sunshine on the horizon, I am due to go back offshore by Monday which is a good thing. I mean staying home has it's benefits don't get me wrong, but damn, I think it is time to go back to work!

We went to the Ms. Vidalia pageant this weekend. This is the first year we attended that we didn't have one of our girls in the pageant. My daughter Katie was a page for 3 years and my daughter Ashie was a page for 3 years. Man these things are boring if you don't have someone in it! We went to cheer for a friend of ours, BB, who was in the pageant. We thought she did so good! Her casual wear outfit was great. She wore these black slacks with red suspenders and a little hat, very pretty. She did good in the dance and everything, but didn't finish in the top 5 : (
But we thought she did great!

Hunting season is over so I spent the last two days cleaning guns, washing hunting stuff and getting organized. I had stuff in 3 boxes all over the place. Not the case anymore, I am organized. Drove my wife nuts cause it took me 3 days to get it done and she doesn't like clutter and trust me, I had some shit cluttered up. The kitchen table was stacked high with stuff and all over the floor. She doesn't know it, but I left it there two days just to aggravate her. You should have seen the look on her face when I said "I just don't feel like fooling with this shit today, I will finish tomorrow." Then I walked out, it was extremely funny. HEY! I told you it was time for me to go back to work.

On suggestion from my wife though, I am thinking of changing the title of my blog to David's Monthly.

Worst blogger in history!

2007-01-24T21:52:00.000-06:00

So I am the worst blogger in history? I have been home since before Christmas so I have been kind of neglecting my blog. I was due to go out then they put me on stand-by so I am getting paid to be home which is a nice profession! I did just get back from Lafayette, LA yesterday though. I had meetings on Monday and Tuesday and I can say with out a doubt that the best thing about them was the Steak and Crawfish they served on Monday night. They called it Surf and Coonass Turf. The crawfish were pretty good though and would have been much better if I still drank as they also had an open bar and the drinks were flowing pretty good. I enjoyed my Diet Coke very much thanks for asking. Then after we all ate, we were just sitting there shooting the shit and this guy walks up in the front and goes "HEY! I will be your comedian for the evening!" and the room got quiet as church when a hooker walks in and you recognize her. We all thought the guy was kidding, but he broke down and did about a 45 minute stand up routine. He wasn't bad, for the setting and stuff I would say he did better than most people would have. Considering there were kids in there and he had to keep it clean, he was not that bad. So over all a fun time.

Hunting season ended today for us. The water is up and we are limited on where we can go. We went down there today and were going to walk the fence rows out and as I get up close to where I am going to sit I start looking off in the woods for a place and there is a guy standing behind a tree. I saw him about the same time he saw me and good thing I noticed off the bat he was a game warden. I talked to him for a bit and he apologized for ruining my hunt and said were you going to get here? I said nope, I was going to actually get on the other side of this ditch and a female game warden stood up and waved at me from where I was going to get. With the water up people ride up and down the levee shooting deer. They were trying to catch these people which I think is a great thing. As we left we rode the levee because we wanted to see if we could see them. As we pass, my dad and I both went "LOOK!" there was a nice buck standing in the weeds pretty close to them. Turns out it was a deer decoy with a moving tail and stuff. Told my dad it was a good thing I saw them first and not that decoy because sneaking up that rode on our lease, if I would have seen it, I would have shot it. I wonder how bad that would have scared them? That 50 caliber muzzle loader going off right by them LOL.

From the mouth of a child . . .

2007-01-13T20:25:00.000-06:00

Well as I mentioned a few post's back I lucked up and killed a nice 8 point buck a back before the New Year. My Dad, brother and nephew hauled the deer bits and pieces off for me while I was helping to get everything ready for everyone to come over. Well when they all got over my Dad and brother were laughing and they said that as they opened the tub to do the dump, my nephew Sam looked around and crinkled his nose and said "Wow, Uncle David's deer smells worser than poo-poo does!" So as soon as he walked in he came right up to me and almost yelled like fussing at me, "Uncle David, your deer smelled worser than poo-poo!!!" It was so funny because he was crinkling his nose up and everything. Classic. . .

Time for work. . .

2007-01-09T20:56:00.000-06:00

Well sort of. I get a call today and they were getting ready to send me out to a little barge rig in the swamp and I get all packed and ready. Well we were about to go over the miles on my wife's truck (it's leased, well it was anyway) so before I go out we go take care of that little problem. Well my office calls me when I am there and tells me that the company I had been working for has agreed to pay stand by at full rate, so don't go out, come to the office. So tomorrow I will go to New Orleans and work in the office for a bit. That is OK though, go down there and get my on call days knocked out here in January and be done with them for the year. But as I said my wife and I took care of that little leased vehicle problem (it sounded good at the time). We went today and bought a 2007 Tahoe. It is the nicest vehicle we have ever owned I know that. Well her truck was a loaded extremely nice truck, but this is nicer in my opinion.

Redneck??

2007-01-08T08:09:00.000-06:00

Well since at the funeral last week my cousin from Arkansas was hitting on my nephew I figured that made us about as redneck as you can get. As luck would have it I also found the top Redneck pickup lines. Sadly I have used a few of these and they really do work!!

1) Did you fart? cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em.

6) If you in I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts inyer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

and.... the best for last!

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

2007-01-06T13:18:00.000-06:00

Well I would first like to say thank you to everyone who sent me messages and called me and stuff about my Aunt Pat. She was a very special person and she will be missed so very much by a lot of people. I told my wife that it was very weird to me. When I left the gravesite I had the weirdest feeling come over me, I just knew she was alright. That might not be weird to you, but it was to me. I still have that feeling. I just know in my heart she is OK now. I can't explain it and won't even try.

Other than that, things here are going OK. I promised to show a picture of my girls on thier big Christmas present and I finally got that one downloaded today so here that is:

2007-01-02T19:40:00.000-06:00

I love my Aunt Pat very much. I was very fortunate that she came over and celebrated Christmas with us this year. My Aunt Pat was a very special person. I love her so very much and I will miss her more than I could ever express here today or any other day. I know because I have tried several times and I just can't seem to do it right. I could fill up pages and pages and pages with all the memories I have of her. My Aunt Pat passed away today. I love you Aunt Pat.

Happy New Year ! ! !

2006-12-31T12:52:00.000-06:00

Well I hope everyone has had the great holiday season that my family and I have had. We had a great Christmas and we are having a little get together tonight to ring in the New Year. I have been very fortunate this year because I was home for both Christmas and New Year's and my kids have been out of school the whole time I will be home. Both very rare occurrences around here. I usually get home just as they are going back to school or something, so this has been very nice. My daughters acted like they have had a great holiday and that makes a great holiday for me.

I killed a nice 8-point yesterday, I would post a picture of that but last time I did someone called me Bambi Killer and actually took my link off of their blog. Why I find that quite funny I only have a few people that read this thing so to lose any more would not be financially sound. But it was a nice buck. Can almost taste that smoked sausage now!! YUMMY!

Happy New Year Everyone! Be careful out there!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

2006-12-26T10:44:00.000-06:00

Well a day late but, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

I hope everyone out there had a wonderful Christmas!

We had a great one. My daughters got a new 4-wheeler and I will post the picture of them on it as soon as I can get it from my daughters camera. We hid it and gave them a bag with the key in it. Told them that first they had to guess what the key went to. Since they are both girls they were just shrieking it sounded like yelling and stuff and then one said "A FOUR WHEELER!" and I said that is right, now you have to find it. Well it didn't take them long to find it so they rode four wheeler and go-kart for hours. They really seemed to have a great Christmas which made me happy.

My wife and I also had a great Christmas. She FINALLY listened to me as to what I wanted! Can you believe that after 20 years? LOL Every Christmas she gets me all these beautiful clothes that just hang in my closet. This year she got me exactly what I asked for, t-shirts and shorts, cause that's just how I roll. I am a t-shirt and short kind of guy. I got her a "Day at the spa" which comes with a manicure, pedicure, facial and one hour massage. She seemed both surprised and happy which is a good thing.

We had a lot of family over for lunch and it was so good to have so much family here at our house. We are already looking forward to New Years. Both of my brothers and their families, my parents and several friends are coming over and we are going to have a bonfire, cook and just have a great time.

I hope everyone out there is safe on the roads and safe in the stores as you fight the people returning the fruit cakes and stuff :o)

10 weird things about me

2006-12-21T08:12:00.000-06:00

Well I was tagged by Becca to do a meme. This one is a little different than most as you have to cough up 10 weird things about yourself. While this may be easy for some (go see Tisha's and Becz) I believe this will be difficult for me. I will gladly try though.

10 Weird Things Meme RULES: Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird habits/things/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. At the age of 14 I had what is basically a "reverse" boob job. My right boobie had swollen up enough to make all the girls jealous and it had to be surgically corrected. The doctor said it had something to do with puberty. I am serious. I have the scar to prove it and will gladly show you my boob, although this definitely falls under the "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" rule.

2. Never really found this weird or odd until the last time I was home but it was pointed out by my dad and wife so I guess it is weird. My second toe is longer than my big toe, but only on my left foot.

3. Due to having had knee surgery from a high school football injury (when I was 16) I can swing my knee and make it look like it is out of place. I do this for party tricks.

4. Due to having had knee surgery from a high school football injury I can place your finger on a spot on my knee, bend my knee and you can feel where something is grinding down. Honestly, the first time my wife felt this, she almost vomited. I happen to think it is pretty cool though.

5. I can pop my ankle (like most people crack their knuckles) every time I bend it. Not almost everytime, everytime. This so amazed an orthopedic surgeon I was seeing he wanted to scope me to find out why it did that. I respectfully declined.

6. For some reason while snakes scare some people to death, I have no fear of them. To the point where if I see one I typically pick up a stick and beat it to death. I have been known to shoot arrows at a snake, walk right by it to pick up the arrows and continue to shoot at it. Pretty amazing though, it doged every shot. I ended up walking up and stabbed it in the head with one of the arrows.

7. I am not allergic to poison oak or poison ivy, but I am to grass (makes me itch bad!). Go figure that shit out.

8. Instead of gravy on my mashed potatoes, I eat ketchup

9. I am not scared of spiders, but would rather someone punch me in the throat than have a roach touch me

10. Strawberry milk makes me sick, but that is just tough shit. I know it makes me sick but I will still drink it because I love Strawberry milk.

Ok, ok so #10 is kinda weak, but I was running out of ideas. This thing says to tag 10 people but I don't know 10 more bloggers so I will just throw this out there. If you read this and want to participate, do it and leave a comment that you did it so we can go to your blog and check out your weirdness.

Different from my Babbling Rant

2006-12-20T07:28:00.000-06:00

Ok, well Tisha gets onto me all the time about not posting pictures anymore. She actually got onto me and told me that maybe 'next' Christmas she would get to see this years Christmas pictures and stuff. Well just to prove her wrong, here are some recent pictures of my beautiful babies!

By far the two prettiest young women at the Holy Ball! My two girls.

This is my baby Ashie and Matthew at the Holy Ball this year. All the girls there thought he was cute and as Ashie walked by she said she was going to ask him if he would take a picture with her. She kept walking and I asked him. He was a very polite young man and said he would be honored to take a picture with her. So I took this picture and as she walked off she said "I can't breathe!! My friends are going to be so jealous!!" Well they were because when she called to rub it in to her two friends that were also in the Holy Ball, they both hung up on her. LOL

After Ashie ran back in the back to tell her sister that she got to take a picture with Matthew, they all decided they wanted to take one with him. As they were all standing there his mother said "They are all under-age Matthew!" and he said "I know mom, look hands on shoulders!"

Explanation

2006-12-20T06:44:00.000-06:00

Well I am sure my ranting the past few days has the few people that stop by here wondering what the hell my problem is. I mean in all the time I have done this blog I can't recall ever where I have ranted and really said the type of things that I have been saying lately. Well it takes different things to set me off and one of the things is for me to believe that someone is taking advantage of, or being mean to my wife. You see, I love my wife A LOT. I am not going to sit here and lie to you and tell you that we have a perfect marriage and tell you songs of birds singing and all of that. We like every other married couple I know fight and argue and have problems. But recently a lot has changed between us. My wife and I are closer now than we have been in a very long time. We take time to make sure we talk, not just small talk but talk about everything. We take time to make sure that we spend good quality time together. Things we should have been doing a long time ago. One of our favorite things to do now is called movie night. We put the kids to bed and snuggle on the couch and watch movies together softly talking and giggling and just holding each other. There really is no better way to spend the evening let me tell you.

But anyway, I get defensive of her. I don't like to see people use her or take advantage of her kind heart. So when she calls me all pissed off about someone doing something wrong to her, it pisses me off. Wouldn't it you? Would you not get mad or upset if someone was hurting the person you love? Well I have had to sit by and watch it for a long time. When we first got married I could not stand the way my wife's mother treated her. That alone was the source of many of our fights. I am proud to say this is not the case anymore. My wife and her mom talk on the phone several times a day and they have really gotten close and that makes me very, very happy. Her dad? Don't get me started. Her step dad? Trust me when I tell you, you DO NOT want to hear me talk about him. There is no way that I could discuss him and not offend everyone that ever reads this with the profanity I would spew while discussing him. How many times has he broken her heart? Countless. He actually came back into her life and she was so happy, because she considers him to be the man who raised her. He let her down again. He came back. Got engaged to this woman who flat told him "I don't want you to have anything to do with her, she is not your daughter anymore my kids are you new kids" and he said OK. Can you believe that? He actually said OK and quit having anything to do with my wife, my kids and my wife's brother. Fucking loser. He actually quit having anything to do with her or my children just because this 400lb water buffalo told him not to talk to them. Well guess what? They are divorced now and guess who called to say he was sorry? That is right, Mr. Hunkashit himself. Then our so called friend. Believe me when I tell you that my two day rant does not compare to what this person did to my family. The broken hearts of my children, which means nothing to her. The way that six years of friendship and family was thrown away for what? For nothing. So this person is high on my list of people to dislike. The sad thing? They continue to lie and she obviously thinks we are stupid enough to believe her. We didn't believe any of the other lies, so we are not believing any of the new lies, especially ones that YOU yourself wrote down and are backed up by letters others wrote. I mean come on, lets not be ignorant. Well anyway I don't need to get started in on that again. So then when my wife called me and was telling me about our other friend, I just lost it. I mean how much am I supposed to take? How many people am I supposed to sit back and watch use my wife's friendship? I tell you as I tell everyone, I have had all of that bullshit I am taking.

I am sorry to my friend who I ranted about in my post yesterday, if you scroll down you will notice that I removed that part from my post. I honestly do believe that you understand why I went off like I did. I appreciate you calling and explaining things, that was very big of you. I hope you are big enough to accept my apology for not getting in touch with you first to find out what was going on. But that does prove one thing even though you refused to answer, how did you find out about my blog? There is only one person that I know that you know that used to ever come here and read it. So my guess would be that she read it and ran to you and said you should go read this. But that is fine with me. I honestly could care less who reads it. This is my space of the internet. My place to talk about whatever I want. My place to share things with my family and about my family. If certain people choose to stop by here to check out what is going on, that is fine. I will not change or alter my life because of this person. But come here knowing that I won't hold my tongue. I will say what I want and if you don't like it I honestly could care less.

Fairweather friends, who needs them?

2006-12-19T09:03:00.000-06:00

I am sure everyone has heard the term "fairweather friend" and some people even have a friend that probably falls into this category. I know I do, or used to but to be honest I just don't have room in my life for this type of friend. My family and I just went through an ordeal not that long ago were a person we thought was our friend turned out to be a huge hunk of shit. Come to find out from things left at our house that we were not the only people that they used and took advantage of. There were 2 letters in what my wife and I call the "Box of Lies" that were from two different people that seem to have fallen into the same type deal. Both had sent letters asking why all the sudden they were being treated like this or that. Sad point is, they couldn't do anything for that person anymore, so that person just stopped being their friend. Sad but true, some people are just pieces of shit like that. Good thing this person told me that they didn't want anything that was left under the house, so I am throwing it all in the trash when I get home. No fucking way am I spending not even a dime of my money on this person. So as you can tell, I am glad, SOOOO glad that this person is not in our life anymore. No telling what type of influence they would have been to our children in the years to come. Anyway, I am getting off point.

(Edited due to being mis-informed by an angry wife. My appoligies to my friend, who knows who he is. Maybe I am the Fairweather friend)

One of the things that makes me smile every once in awhile is actually a pretty mean thing but I am not embarrassed or anything to share it, this is my blog afterall. I will write what I want. Anyway, I think every so often about the fact that this person has this condition where their teeth are rotting out (they really do, I am not making it up) Well anyway. They are having problems getting a job (this is also fact) and last I heard they were living in a trailer. So this person is soon going to be a toothless Burger King cashier living in a trailer. I know it is mean, but you have to admit for a person who used to be an office manager making a good living with a lot of things going right for them, to working their way back-ass-wards to a toothless Burger King cashier living in a trailer has some humor to it. Admit it. . that shit is funny! Well it is to me anyway. I guess where they say you get what got coming is a fact.

Rant over.

Death of Blogger??

2006-12-18T11:42:00.000-06:00

Well as all 3 of my readers probably noticed I have not been doing my posting on my blog lately. Blogger is killing the fun of it. I go to other blogs and can't leave my typically witty comments and stuff and to be honest I much more enjoy visiting other peoples blogs than I do keeping mine up. I guess another reason that I don't blog as much anymore because there is someone that may come here, that I just would rather not have any clue as to things going on with my family. A part of me thinks, well they never come by because what purpose does it serve them? They only do things that are a benefit to themselves, no care of others are anything. I mean say like forgetting someone's birthday that has looked up to you since she was 8 years old or something like that just to use as an example, I mean that really did happen, but lets just use it as an example. But then all the sudden a death in the family or something happens and I post it here and then there is a text message or a blocked call or something. Amazing how so far away and with no contact but still finds out things about what is going on. Weird huh? Gotta be my blog because nobody we know will still talk to this person. But time moves on and things get better. SO MUCH BETTER. The one great thing about change? You see things you didn't see before, things that were there but yet you somehow over looked. Like all of our friends going "You really don't need that person around you and your family, all they do is cause trouble and problems" and us going, noooo. But now seeing how right they were. How many told us this you ask? More than 6 that I can think of off the top of my head. Lies, uncovering lies daily and it would be so different if we were looking for them or searching for them but that is not the case. Have people walking up and going "Oh, I bet ya'll didn't know this!" and telling us stuff as we sit there and go "uhhh, no we didn't have a clue". Oh and this person had a blog once and put on there "I hate people calling me a liar" Well dumbass you should be better at it where you didn't get caught telling a lie everytime you opened your mouth.

I guess the saying can't see the forest because of all the trees in the way is a good way to explain it. Like now we find things out about the type of friend we surrounded ourselves with. The type of person that they 'really' were. It is scary. It is scary that we would allow that type of person around our children. A liar, just a huge liar that lies about things that make no sense to lie about, a person that cares only about themselves, a person that tells you whatever you want to hear, but is telling everyone what they want to hear. If it doesn't serve them in someway they don't do it, they just don't care. "OH, I had a horrible time when I was on vacation!" (Wanting people to feel sorry for them) But then find a pack of pictures with all these people where it sure doesn't look like it was a bad time going on. Looks like someone was out hookering it up. It is such a shame that it took so long to see this and for things to change. But things have changed.

Like pictures? This person recently asked for some pictures off our computer. Are you fucking serious? There are none. Within a week of this person shitting all over my entire family every picture on all 4 computers in our house were deleted. All the actual pictures that were in frames of photo boxes? Gone, even the ones that had pictures of our children in it. My kids refer to this person as "The person whose name we don't want to say" so I don't think they care that a few softball pictures and stuff are gone. I used to hate this person soooo bad it was a shame. But then one day I realized I didn't hate them anymore. You have to care about someone to hate them and I care nothing for this person. I never thought I would be that way. Actually not care enough about someone to not even hate them. I am sure where ever they are now some other family is going. . . Man I should have listened when that guy told me what a piece of crap this person was. Hand of God huh? What a loser.

Well that is all I can rant about today.

Christmas Meme

2006-12-12T14:55:00.000-06:00

I was tagged by Tisha for a Christmas meme so here it is:

1. Hot Chocolate or Egg Nog? About the only Egg Nog I like is the Sonic Egg Nog Shake.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? 99% of the time they are wrapped, but there are some circumstances when a Big Bow has to do.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? White. The ones on the house that almost electrocuted me to death are Blue/White icicle lights.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Not usually

5. When do you put your decorations up? After Thanksgiving, depending on when I come in from work.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? My Mom's Dressing! YUMMY!!!!! And My Mom's Christmas Pie

7. Favorite Holiday memory? Have lots of them. Overall it would be being home to wake up and see the faces on my girls as they see their gifts under the tree. Something about the look on their faces when they light up the room with their smiles :0)

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I would have to say that would be about age 2. I learned that Santa is a wonderful person who cares very much about the happiness of children and carries the spirit of Christmas.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We usually open gifts from us to the kids and from the kids to us on Christmas Eve. Then they get Santa on Christmas morning.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? By sitting out of my wife's way and letting her do it. She always does such a beautiful tree! I help her put the lights on and back out of the way.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love to see it.

12. Can you ice skate? Never tried.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? They are all my favorite.

14. What's the most important thing? Being with my family.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Christmas Pie

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Going to pick out our tree.

17. What tops your tree? A metal star.

18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? I enjoy giving presents MUCH more than getting presents.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Little Drummer Boy

20. Candy canes, Yuck or Yum? I like candy canes.

The rules say I have to tag six people to do this. So, I'm tagging
1. Sassy
2. Diane
3. TamWill
4. Anonymous
5. Pyld
6. Big Poppa POSHMANSKI

**Instructions, cut and paste this onto your blog, change the answers and pick six more people.*** : )

Blogger putting it to me again

2006-12-12T07:13:00.000-06:00

Well I have been trying to leave comments and make posts, but for some reason I could not log into Blogger. It has been telling me that I need to enable cookies, but cookies are enabled. Blogger is such a great thing!

Well Christmas is fast approaching. My wife and I knew it would only be a matter of time but my youngest daughter has started asking all the "Is Santa really real? Or do you and Daddy put the presents under the tree while we are sleeping? Do kids parents really lie to them about Santa?" This makes me really sad because I wanted just one more year you know? But I guess all parents do, just one more Christmas with Santa!! But I guess I wanted it because I will actually be home this year for Christmas, but just being home will be enough. I am not greedy, I'll take the just being home with my family part. This should be a wonderful Christmas for us. We are going to have Christmas at our house this year with my parents and brother coming over. My wife went and got my daughters big present from us yesterday and I will pick it up on my way home. I don't think they even have a clue as to what it is and I won't say here just in case they happen by here, but I will post a picture of them with it come Christmas Day. This should be a great time off for me. I will be home Christmas and New Years and I am hoping that both of my brothers and their families and my parents will come over again like they did last year. Right now that is the plan so it should be a big time.

Well my daughter finished the year as a cheerleader last night and she was all sad :o(
She did SOOO great this year as a cheerleader and I was so proud of her! I loved to go watch her, her smile would light up the entire place while she was up there, I tell you it was something to see.

My youngest said she is not going to be a cheerleader, but she did every cheer that my oldest did so hopefully she will change her mind. She is still looking forward to playing basketball this year and hoping she gets on her little friends team so that should be next for us after the holidays!

Christmas Gift Idea

2006-12-10T06:42:00.000-06:00

Christmas is coming up and I am sure all of my blogger friends are sitting there going "MAN! I have no idea what to get David this year!!" So I thought I would give you what is on top of my wish list.

Tagged by TISHA

2006-12-04T21:13:00.000-06:00

Tagged by Tisha to do a Christmas Song Meme

1 - Little Drummer Boy (My absolute favorite!!)
2 - Santa looks a lot like Daddy (Garth Brooks)
3 - Christmas in Dixie (Alabama)
4 - Oh Holy Night
5 - The First Noel

I love to listen to Christmas Music. I have 3 folders with it in there and even love the songs by Adam Sandler (Happy Hanukah I & II)

I am supposed to tag 5 people. Well 2 of the people that read my blog Tisha and Becca were already tagged so I tag the only remaining surviovors:

1 - Sassy
2 - Diane
3 - Tamwill

Thats it, all 5 people that read my blog. Sad isn't it? I mean I am probably one of the top 3 billion writters in blog land and have 5 known readers. Just need more exposure I guess.

Latest and greatest from the Davester

2006-12-04T20:53:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone! Wow did I have a great and busy week since I have been home. Lets see getting the rest of the lights up I was too lazy to climb 14' down my ladder and move it over 2' so I reached out and stapled the wire with my left hand and in typical David-O fashion I shocked the shit out of myself. Typical though, it was the LAST staple I had to put in. Got myself pretty good and swole up my ankle, knee and inflamed my shoulder so bad I went to the doctor yesterday. Good thing is though he sure gave me some good pain killers.

Moving on. . . My daughters both went to the Holly Ball on Saturday. This was my oldest daughters last year and my youngest daughters first year so it was a great time!! They looked sooooo beautiful you just could not imagine! I have some really good pictures and we had pictures taken at the pageant of them that I will put up as soon as we get them back.

Sunday was the Vidalia Christmas Parade and the girls were both scheduled to be in that but my youngest has a cold so she just watched and picked up two bags of candy. My oldest rode on the Bank float with the other Jr. High cheerleaders. Our little town usually has really small parades but surprisingly enough this was a really good parade.

Well that is about it. Seems like everyday last week was one thing or another. Not really busy for me but it sure wore me out to see my wife running around like that! LOL

Britney Spears Tape & Now Jessica Simpson Tape?

2006-11-30T09:13:00.000-06:00

I know I am like a magnet for porn, but you don't have to be even looking hard to see in the news daily about a Britney Spears sex tape and now a Jessica Simpson sex tape. There was a clip of a woman that looks like Britney and they were touting it as her, but its not. Her and K-Fugly have both come out and said there is no such thing. But the Jessica Simpson one?? Uh-Oh. . They just say she is terrified about it coming out, it ruins her good girl image. My thing is this. Holy shit people!!! Have ya'll been asleep in a cave for the last 100 years or something??? If you make a tape and you are remotely famous, someone somewhere is going to get it eventually and sell it! The guy from the RedLight District that is selling the Screech Powers tape said he gets calls all the time with this star or this person who is famous. I really think some of them do it for the publicity. Like Screech? What's he got to lose?? He was selling t-shirts to keep from losing his house while he was doing a stand up comedy gig. I mean he has nothing to lose by selling this tape and getting some cash. Britney isn't going to have to release a tape, she has flashed her self to the cameras like 3 days straight.

Poor thing, not being smart ellic or anything I really feel sorry for her. Not sure why, I just do. I loved her music and even took my family to her concert in New Orleans. She has 500 paparrazi a day chasing her around, they get a shot of her in the car fleeing the scene and she doesn't take the time to buckle her child in and she is a "horrible mother". Good grief, I drive down the road daily and see kids not buckled up. Is it right? HELL NO. Is it legal? HELL NO. Are there 500 guys with cameras chasing them down? HELL NO. But I guess when you are a celeb you have to answer to the public more, it is your price for fame. If it is all the same I think I would like to stay un-famous.

New Update! Don't faint.

2006-11-28T16:20:00.000-06:00

Well got home Friday and we had our Thanksgiving. It was GREAT!! My wife cooked a lot of things she had never cooked before and damn did she do great. She made dressing for the first time and it was awesome. She made banana Cream Pie (1st time) Pecan Pie (1st time) and lots of other stuff. We had a lot of people over and it was a great family time.

Got about 90% of our Christmas decorations up already. We went and got our tree and we have that up. My daughters each picked out a tree in the yard and we have them decorated up. We just got this house last December and I had no time at all to put anything up. I went to work and we lived in our old house. I came back the day after Christmas and we were in the new house. Not that way this year and the old homestead is looking a lot like Christmas.

Got a busy time coming up. My daughters birthday party is Friday. The Holy Ball is Saturday and I go to New Orleans Tuesday to work in the office. I wasn't really upset about it because I was going to go see my nephew Tyler again, but he will be home by then. They called my Dad yesterday and told him that Tyler would be coming home either today or tomorrow. That is GREAT news because he was not supposed to get out of the hospital for 2 weeks minimum. So for them to discharge him that early is super news.

Women. . . Who can please them?

2006-11-28T16:17:00.000-06:00

A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage. When
asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade
listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness,
feeling unloved and unloveable, an entire laundry list of un-met needs she
had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the
therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand,
embraced and kissed her passionately.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist
turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three
times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied,.. "Well, I can drop her off
here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

2006-11-23T07:15:00.000-06:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!

Well I hope everyone has a GREAT Thanksgiving today. I am already looking forward until tomorrow. We have a big day planned. At last count we were going to have like 17 people over to eat. Renee' and I are both excited to have everyone over to our house for Thanksgiving. This should be a great family time. I hope everyone has a good day and is safe on the roads.

Oh as an update - My nephew Tyler came through surgery fine. They are going to keep him knocked out a few days to help with the pain and keep him at least 2 weeks in the hospital still. Take care everyone, it will be Monday or so before I update again.

My nephew. . .

2006-11-22T09:55:00.000-06:00

Well I want to do today's post about my nephew Tyler. He is having open heart surgery today in New Orleans. They have put it off and off and off (the doctors) and rescheduled it more times than I can remember but he is finally having it today. He has had about 15 surgeries and I hope and pray this is the last one. If you pray, I pray you will mention him and keep him in your prayers today. Here is a picture of him and my daughter Katie. He will be in the hospital for 2 weeks at minimum so I will be going down there to see him when I get home.

The World Gone Mad

2006-11-21T08:23:00.000-06:00

Is it just me or is the world going insane? I am sure everyone has seen the clip of Kramer going nuts on the people that heckled him during his stand up comedy act. I mean he has been in show biz enough to know comedians are going to get heckled. But he went totally nuts! Flipped out got in a yelling match and then walked off. Before he walks off you can see people walking out. Insane, proof that I am right, the world is gone mad. Even though he did go on the air an say how sorry he was that it happened.

Still need more proof? OK What about the guy in Alabama raping his own MOTHER! I would rather see Kramer go on a tirade every week than hear about things like this but this really happened not long ago. Two brothers got into an argument and as retaliation he raped his mother. Jail? Hell no a bullet to the head.

Still going well nahhhh. How about right where I live. A local teenage girl was arrested for killing her mother. Why do you ask? Well word I heard is that she did bad in school or some such thing and her mom took away her cell phone and her car as punishment. So her daughter shot her in the head. That is what I am hearing anyway. The newspapers are not discussing it and the investigation is still ongoing.

People wonder why I never watch the news. Who wants to watch this bullshit? Give me sponge bob any day.

This, that and oh yeah that over there

2006-11-20T06:39:00.000-06:00

Well here comes the holidays! I really enjoy the holidays even though it seems I am never home for them. Thanksgiving is coming up this Thursday and in usual fashion, I will be offshore working. I go home on Friday and my family and I will celebrate Thanksgiving on Friday. This has gotten to be our routine for as far back as I can remember we have celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas either early or late. But that is part of the job.

Favorite is when I was leaving on Christmas Eve and my oldest daughter wrote a letter to Santa and told him that her Daddy was going to be gone and asked if there was any way he could come early. Well he did and talk about excitement! They went everywhere telling people that they were so good Santa came to see them a day early. (On his pre-flight check of course!)

Well with school out and Thanksgiving fast approaching I am sure people will be traveling around and stuff. Ya'll be careful!

Happy Birthday Shout Out

2006-11-19T07:35:00.000-06:00

Well this post is just to say Happy Birthday to someone. It is a good friend of mines Birthday today. I won' t tell you how old she is because women seem to think it rude. But I will tell you who she is.

TISHA!!!!

Happy Birthday Tisha! I hope you have a great one!

Sportsmanship

2006-11-15T11:38:00.000-06:00

Well my daughters have both been sick the past few days too. No, I don't think they got it from me I am offshore. Thanks for asking though. Well my oldest daughter missed cheering at the basketball game but came home the next day with a very interesting story about the game. It seems the girls team won by one point ( 1 ). Now I have seen the girls play a couple of times and I can tell you, they are aggressive. But not just our team, every girls team I have seen them play is exactly the same. It is actually a very exciting game to watch. Well anyway, after the game the students form a tunnel and turn on some music and the boys run out do a semi-circle and do the lay up shots and all that. Well after the girls won, the students go to do the tunnel to start the boys game and all the people from the opposing team got up and walked out. All the parents, all the students, all the players, everyone. Seems they were protesting that they believed our team won, because the referee's cheated in our favor. That is insane! This is Jr. High School Basketball and your team loses by ONE freaking point and so you walk out? What type of example does that set? What lesson did that teach the kids? I have been to some of the games as I have said and I have seen the ref's do their job. They make some questionable calls. But they do it for both sides. Last game I attended the people in the stands for our team were going nuts over the calls. One parent finally told the guy, "You know if she stops dribbling, but keeps running, that is called a 'travel'." The ref just looked at him and smiled. But he was doing the same thing for the other team. No ref is perfect, they don't get every call, they can't please everyone, everyone is going to complain about their job, but not many will volunteer to do their job. It is the job everyone loves to bitch about, but few love to do. But I think this shows poor judgment and poor sportsmanship and poor leadership for students and student athlete's to lose and walk out. But that is just me.

Cold's suck ass

2006-11-13T07:56:00.000-06:00

Ever wonder if you daughter is gay? This would be a sure give away would it not??

Anyway, got that in my email and found it very funny so thought I would post it. I have been sick here lately got a cold or something and just feel exhausted! Yesterday was the worst so far, with my cold in full swing my allergies started to act up. Can you say WANNA GET HIGH!!! I was taking cough syrup, cough tablets and allergy medicine. Not really high though, I was so lethargic I could hardly move.

Well I have another party I am planning now. When I go in this time it will be my youngest daughters birthday. She is going to have an American Idol birthday. I think they are all going to dress up like singers and do karaoke and stuff. Should be a fun time. Plus got the Holly Ball coming up so both my daughters will be all dressed up doing their dances and all of that. Should be a FUN FUN time off!!

Whatcha'll been doing??

Pictures, pictures and more pictures.

2006-11-04T09:09:00.000-06:00

Ok, well I have been promising pictures for awhile now so here they are. I got myself a new computer and was moving all of the stuff from that one to this one and found a lot of pictures that I had forgotten about. Here some are:

This is Katie from cheerleader camp that she attended this year at Northwestern State University. Hopefully that is where she will be attending college for her pre-med!

A few of the people that were there for Katie and Alexa's Birthday Bash. I think all told it was a little over 30 people there. They all had a good time and Katie and Alexa are already planning their 15th and 16th.

The two birthday girls! They have been friends since they were like 4 years old.

Katie's Birthday Cake. This turned out really pretty. My wife got it from Edna's Cakes and Creations here in Natchez. Trust me, as pretty as it is, it tasted better.

Alexa and her Birthday cake. This cookie cake also came from Edna's Cakes and Creations here in Natchez. It was quite tasty as well!

Ok, this is just one of the older pictures I found when moving stuff over. This is my favorite picture of Renee' and Ashie together. It is older, but I have always loved this picture.

This is just a beautiful picture of Ashie under an umbrella. This is when she was a little baby, she is all grown up now.

Another of the pictures that I found moving stuff over. I like this picture because it shows the last time the POPS Crew was in full swing. That is my brother Hank and his wife Hilary, my brother Bernie and his wife Shannon and me and my wife Renee'. Hank and I used to live next door to each other and we did stuff together EVERY weekend. We would get together, Bernie would come in, our next door neighbors would come over. Usually everyone would cook something and bring it over and we would play drinking games and sit outside and scare cars as they passed by. Every Christmas we would get together and do a "Gag-Gift" based on some stupid shit we did during the year. GREAT TIMES!! I will have to tell ya'll about my boxer shorts with 'Peter Peter the Drum Beater' on them.

Last but not least, this is the picture that I have talked about where they dressed me up as a woman for Katie's birthday party when she was younger. I will have to send this picture to Alexa, she still cracks up laughing everytime someone brings it up.

Party Pictures

2006-11-01T16:17:00.000-06:00

Well I have been trying to upload some pictures but blogger won't let me. Bastards. But I have them on my computer now so I will get them on here in the next few days.

I got myself a new rifle the other day, finally got to shoot it after my dad and I did some stand work. I like the way if feels when I shoot it, but I shot it like I screw. . . all over the place. Hit 3 in the bullseye in a row, then almost missed the entire target. Oh well, I did enjoy shooting it though got another box of shells and will go and practice some more tomorrow. Got myself a Marlin 30-30, not really sure why except that I wanted it and I guess sometimes that is enough.

Guess I will start doing some work around the house in the next few days. Got 2 rooms left to paint, gotta get up a bunch of limbs. Gotta take a nap, I am sleepy!

Monday Funday

2006-10-31T10:33:00.000-06:00

Well as my luck would have it, the Friday that I came in the weather offshore was horrible and I was lucky to even get off the rig. I had plans to get home and get a crazy outfit and scare the crap out of all the kids at the party, but that didn't work out. I got home at 7:30pm and luckily my brother in law had come and got the bonfire going and had the grill going. I got home told my daughters and wife hello and I loved them and hugged and kissed and my wife handed me a set of tongs and a plate of hotdogs and hamburgers. I went right to cooking. I don't know if all 30 of the people they invited showed up, but it sure seemed like it. They had a great time and 8 of the little girls stayed the night. I left them up and had to send Renee' in there once to tell them to hold it down. They were just in there talking, laughing and cutting up. They both said they had a GREAT party and are planning their next birthday's together too. We took lots of pictures and my daughter has them downloaded on her computer. I will get some up today or tomorrow.

Monday was a typical Monday where you think it goes on and on and on and will never stop. Yeah that was my Monday. I woke up went to Maze Craze that they have in Vidalia this year. (Maze Craze is where they have a corn field and they have a design cut into it and you walk through it and get lost and get scared and all that) Well anyway the 4th grade class went on a field trip to the Maze so we went on that, left that and went to the Jr. High pep rally which was a blast. The girls had this fake cheer leader try out where they acted crazy. They did it in pairs and my daughter and her friend Mary dressed up with these purple stockings and stuff. Well they fell down doing their jumps, instead of cheering for Vidalia Jr High, they cheered for Ferriday Trojans who is our biggest rival in every sport. They got booed out of the gym! It was so funny. I have some pictures of that too and my daughter Ashie even took a movie with our camera. I will have to see how that came out and see if I can post that too.

Party Time

2006-10-26T12:47:00.000-05:00

Well tomorrow when I get home will be my first experience with a mixed party of teenagers. My daughter and her friend are having their birthday parties tomorrow. They are having their party together and to last count it was about 30 others coming. I am going to light a bonfire and cook on the grill, but other than that I don't know what they plan on doing. I emailed them both and they were like "We are girls, we will have fun just sitting there talking!!" So I said OKIE DOKIE! But I really feel they are right. I believe they are going to have a great time, I know they are sure looking forward to it. We got my daughter a 2 tier birthday cake. I am not sure why she wanted a 2 tier cake, but after pricing them at Walmart and seeing they were about $80 for a really small 2 tier cake, her getting one was not really going to happen. Well my wife went to Edna's creations and found her a beautiful cake for a lot less money and the thing is I am sure it will be a much, much better cake.

Well we plan to take lots of pictures, so hopefully next week I will post some. I won't be posting until next week so ya'll try to make it without me! :o)

Internet Surveys

2006-10-25T06:32:00.000-05:00

Anyone here have Myspace? I started myself a Myspace page to basically track what my daughters do on there. I thought you got a lot of surveys and stuff through the email. There is always a new survey on my Myspace. Must be the same person writing them because no matter which survey you fill out there are always two VERY important questions that everyone must know. #1 - Do you prefer Burger King or McDonalds. This has to be the most asked question in the history of the internet only falling a close second to the question #2 - What type of underwear are you wearing? Now this one I can understand. My favorite answer to that question has always been when the person I know said "Leopard print thong, no really I am". My kind of answer! But who comes up with these surveys do you think? I am seriously thinking of making my own survey. What type of questions should be on there do you think? I am going to start off with the Burger King vs. McDonalds of course that is standard survey procedure as well as ending it with the panty question (going to have a clause if you are a guy, don't answer cause I really don't want to know). But going to have to think up about 48 more I guess.

Oh, and welcome to my new reader Anon! That brings my total of readers up to six! Almost as popular as the New York Post.

The beginning of the end

2006-10-23T12:51:00.000-05:00

Well I have disabled anon-comments. Why do you ask? Well I just don't like them. There is only two people that I know of that post here anon and I do believe that Becca has a blogger ID now (If not I AM SORRY BECCA!!) But I don't like anon comments. I have gotten some lately that people leave and that leaves the impression that this person knows me, so I don't understand why they just don't leave their name or something. I mean it is one thing to get an anon comment from someone passing by, but I have gotten responses to the comments I leave them which shows me they are coming back often. Sorry if it causes anyone any troubles, but if it does it only takes a minute to register and you don't even have to maintain a blog.

So anyway. I know there are lots of people out there that will go YUCK! at this, but I found it pretty funny in a gross kind of way. I go into the shower Friday morning and there on top of the soap dispenser is a bottle of "Water based lubricant". I just died out laughing turned on the hot water and scalded the shower for a few minutes then stepped in with my shower shoes on and took a shower. I left the lubricant untouched and when I came back down later it was gone. I guess someone remembered they had left their date in the shower and gone to fetch her.

Hope everyone had a great weekend! What about you Sassy??? I can't wait to hear about your weekend!!! :o)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE!!!

2006-10-20T08:16:00.000-05:00

Well today is my daughters 14th birthday! I called her this morning and she was in a great mood as you would expect. My wife is taking her and my youngest daughter and Katies boyfriend Taylor out to eat tonight at LaFiesta. I think her friends Alexa and Callie are going to, I 'm not sure. Renee' told me that Taylor bought her a Rose and a Card that he is going to give her at school today when she gets there. I think that is sweet and it will probably make her day. Then this weekend is the Great Mississippi Balloon Race, held where we live in Natchez. I know I have told this before, but the Balloon Races always fall close to my daughters birthday. When she was little and walked outside one day and these big beautiful balloons were passing right over our house. Her little eyes got all big and she thought that her Daddy had gotten those big balloons just for her, just for her birthday. She looks forward to it every year. I don't know if the memory is as special to her as it is to me, but I hope it is!

I hope you have a great birthday baby. Daddy loves you very much.

Congrats to Cade and Sarah!!!!!!

2006-10-19T08:24:00.000-05:00

Well this morning when I came in my friend Cade's wife called and said she needed to talk to Cade, it was "VERY, VERY, VERY important that I have him call ASAP!!" Well when you get a call like that you never really know if it is something good or something bad. Well thank goodness this time it was something great. Sarah found out that she is pregnant :o)

So congratulations to Cade and Sarah!

Guys pretending to be women pretending to be lesbians

2006-10-18T10:18:00.000-05:00

OK, I am going to start this post out with a confession "TELL IT ALL BROTHER TELL IT ALL!!" Well way back when, when ICQ was new and about as hot as Myspace is now I used to get on there and chat and talk with people and I actually met a wonderful person on there, HEY TISHA!! Well anyway I used to get on there and mess around and a guy that either I had met or my wife had met I can't remember well we started talking and he told me that he had created a totally different ICQ profile and listed himself as a woman. I just died out laughing and said "Why the hell would you do that? Are you gay?" He said "NOO!! Just the opposite. Women get on here and like to explore their hidden side, you know to flirt with other women and all that." So I was like OK, whatever works for you buddy and he said "that is the great part!! It is working!! Man I have women from all over sending me pictures of themselves, it is the greatest thing ever!!" So after a few beers I decide what the hell and create a new profile and as luck would have it the first woman I talked to asked me a question that I doubt many men would get correct. She said "How do I know you are really a woman? What size panty hose do you wear?" So I just freeze. I am sitting there thinking what the hell kind of question is that?? But then I knew there has to be a trick to this, it can't be as simple as small, medium or large or she wouldn't have asked me that. So off I go to find my wife. Well when I asked her what size panty hose she wore, well you can believe how curious she got as to why, not to mention the look my sister-in-law, who was talking to my wife, gave me. Well they both had to know why in the world I would need to know that. Well lets just say my days as pretending to be a woman to get pics of women were few. So a few weeks later this guy came on and said "Man you won't believe this, I got busted" I said I actually do believe it, but tell me what happened. He said that his wife found out what he was doing and had him email everyone of the women on his list and tell them that he was actually a married man, pretending to be a woman. Here is the funniest part, over half of the people he sent emails to responded and they were ALL guys too! LMFAO!! The few women he was talking to cussed him and all that, but who cares?? I never could read the rest of what it said from laughing so hard that most of the people he was pretending to be a woman to, were pretending to be women as well. HILARIOUS!!!

OK, so what made me remember this stuff do you ask? Well I like to get on Myspace and I do a browse or search for people around my zip code. Well if you have never been on Myspace believe me when I tell you there are LOTS of lesbians on there. Or is there?? Yesterday I see this picture and I am like hmm that girl looks VERY familiar. I click her picture and there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the picture of the girl is an internet porn star named Melissa Midwest. So I go to the profile and look at the other pictures and there are 4 of them. All of them Melissa Midwest. So I look at her friends and I don't know, she had almost 2,000 of them so I start looking at them and I just died out laughing. I only looked at like the first page and I recognized over half of the girls as porn stars or as girls I had seen on the internet. So that made me think back to ICQ and that story. If you go and see these profiles on Myspace of these "lesbians" they all say "NO GUYS!! FUCK OFF!!" and then you read the comments I would have to say that almost everyone of them are guys. The things they say? Come on, it is stuff I would say, not a woman. "I'd hit that!!" "Damn baby, you got let me get some of that shit!!" I mean come on!!! Is that the way lesbians really talk to each other??? I just laughed and laughed yesterday until one fact hit me. Is it sadder that these guys are pretending to be women to look at porn OR that I recognized most of the pictures. . . . .

Hello there.

2006-10-17T07:19:00.000-05:00

Well I attempted to update yesterday but we were having technical difficulties due to 50mph winds and approximately 20' seas. Amazing how you lose a satellite connection with the rig rocking 12' - 15' at a time. Anyway, when I get home this time I will have my first experience with a teenager party. My daughters birthday is October 20th and her and her friend Alexa will be having their party together. So no telling how many teenagers they will have there. At first there were going to be no boys except for Katie's boyfriend but now I believe there are going to be lots of boys there. I know Alexa's boyfriend is going to be there and my wife informed me that both of the boyfriend's friends want to come to. So this has gone from an all girl, except for 1 guy part to who knows what. But there will be several parents there to help us watch them so that is a good thing. Lets see I am going to get out my fire ring and have a bon-fire and cook burgers on the grill and stuff. I started to hire a DJ but when I was told there was nothing but girls coming I told my wife, whats the point? The girls will just be sitting around the fire sending text messages to the girl on the other side of the fire. Oh, I plan to have some fun too though. Only thing is I can't decide if I want to dress up as THIS superhero or THIS one. Tough call to make I know. I wonder which one would embarrass my daughter more, hmm decision's decision's. But I plan to take lots of pictures so I will post them when I get them.

Worst Ringtones Ever?

2006-10-10T21:21:00.000-05:00

Where do kids come up with this stuff? On the way home tonight my daughter says "Daddy, listen to this." Well she fiddles with her phone a minute and then 'What I'm fighting for is more than gold and silver. . . blah blah blah" Man I swear it sounded like someone was TRYING to screw up the song and then the lyrics of the song were just plumb stupid. I went Holy crap baby, is that the worst song you could find to download or what? Were you and your friends having a contest of who could find the worst song? If so, I know my daughter won. My wife and daughters were just sitting in the car rolling. I don't know where they found that but shit, did it suck.

Anyway my days at home are getting shorter and shorter. I am about 90% done with my daughters bathroom and that should be done tomorrow. It turned out really great looking and the girls seem to be happy with it.

Other than that, anybody else heard any shitty songs lately?

Update from New Orleans. . Party Town USA

2006-10-05T20:26:00.000-05:00

Well here I am sitting in my hotel at 8:20pm while visiting New Orleans. You know all I can think of is this place was sure a lot more fun to visit before I quit drinking. Most of the other guys headed off to Boomtown because it is Ladies Night there, the other half all hit the strip club and I sit here in my room posting on my Blogger. Damn am I getting old or maybe I am proving my Dad wrong finally. He always tells me "Damn son, you are never going to grow up" He usually tells me that when I grab my wife on the butt or boobs in front of everyone (Hey if you saw her butt and boobs you would want to grab them too!) but he tells me that anyway. Nah I don't think I am growing up. I am a firm believer that you are only old when you start feeling old and I damn sure don't feel old. I did have one fantastic meal tonight though. We ate at Copelands and I got Crab Cakes as an appetizer and got the Seafood platter as my main meal. The Crab Cakes were without a doubt the best I have ever eaten and I have had crabs before (it was in high school, way different story!) and these were the best Crab Cakes I ever had. But it was good to get caught up with a bunch of my oil field trash buddies. Not many of them quit drinking and you could tell by the stories they were telling. The one that tops the night is about a guy that works in the office here. They said he took them to a strip club last time they were here. Well he paid for a couple of private dances ($250/each) and the last time he came back, he had stains on his pants from where he had uhhh, I guess reached his peak is a polite way to say it. I can hear some of you going uhhhhhhh! But you have to remember we were sitting in a nice restaurant with women all around us. YEAH we all died out laughing because these women were looking at him like he just shit in the chair. Yeah, Old Field Trash comes to town baby.

Good to be Home

2006-10-02T09:24:00.000-05:00

Well on my way in this time I stopped and bought 4 dozen crab. Got home and went to my Dad's and had a crab boil. This was my first time to ever stop and get crab and boil crab. It turned out GREAT. My daughter paid me the ultimate compliment when she said "Daddy, you just put Berry's Crab Legs to shame!!" That is a great compliment because Berry's crab legs are her favorite. But I thought this would be a nice surprise to bring home. We have been doing a lot more things as a family here lately and it is really great. No drama, no concerns, just happiness.

Well I am off to work on that Daddy do list and the honey do list and my wanna do list. Hope everyone has a great week!!

Blogger hates me

2006-09-28T12:53:00.000-05:00

What is up with blogger? For 2 days I have tried to post. Hit publish post and goes to page not found then I go back and hit recover post and it says can't connect. Took me about 5 times longer to change my template today than it should have because it kept booting me out. Oh well, whatchagonnado?

Won't matter tomorrow though. Will be driving most of the day. Get off the rig I am going to stop in Galliano and buy 4 dozen crabs to cook Saturday. Gotta stop off in Baton Rouge to see my dermatologist (have cancer on my nose I think, of course I failed out of nursing school so I could be wrong) gotta stop at a few stores to stock up to get our eBay store back in business and then go by my aunts to get some stuff for my MOM. Yep going to be a long day driving tomorrow.

Will update again Monday or so. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Be Polite

2006-09-28T11:37:00.000-05:00

Ever notice how even when you try to be nice sometimes, you just can't? For some reason I always run into the people on the phone who seem to think it is their job to be a shithead to you. I could not get a prescription filled. I called and asked "Why?" They told me my insurance had put my script on hold. I called my insurance, things went bad quick. I was polite believe it or not until she started picking a fight with me.

Me - Hi, I was just wondering why my prescription was being held?
Her - Your prescription is on a list the requires the Doctor to call and pre-authorize it.
Me - OH! Well does he have to do that each time I have it filled?
Her - No, this is a once a year authorization.
Me - So, did this just start?
Her - No, this went into effect at the start of the year
Me - Hmm, Well that confuses me because I just got this prescription last month (August) and I didn't have to do any of this, is there a reason I didn't have to do it on the initial filling of the script, but am being required to do it on the re-fill?
Her - SIR! I don't know how else to explain this to you!! {yelling at me}
Me - Well, lets start from you explaining anything, you haven't explained anything so far
Her - Your medication is on a list that the doctor must pre-authorize, I don't know how else to explain this to you - EXTREMELY SARCASTIC
Me - That part I get. The part that you have been un-able to even remotely explain so far is why when I got the script filled the first time I didn't have to put up with this. Now trying to get this scrip REFILLED I am sitting here arguing with you. You said it went on the list in January I had the thing filled in AUGUST and had no issues. Now it is being held, my doctor is being called and who knows what else.
Her - I AM NOT TRYING TO ARGUE WITH YOU!
Me - I am not trying to argue with you either
Her - Well I don't know what to tell you
Me - That has been obvious since the start of this conversation. Could I speak to someone else? Someone that would have an idea of what the hell is going on?
Call Transferred

What the hell? Do I show up on some kind of list when I call to deal with people? "Ohhhh, here is that David guy watch this shit!!!" I mean it, what the hell? The person she transferred me to told me in 20 seconds what she never could. "Sorry sir, there is a glitch in the system. If we don't catch it the 1st time, we catch it on the 1st refill. Sorry for any trouble. All we are doing is trying to get your Doctor to prescribe you a 'cheaper' medication" Now what was so difficult about that? That being said I think I am going to change my name to Turd Ferguson so they won't know it is me calling.

*Turd Ferguson is from celebrity Jeopardy for those that missed that joke.

Daddy-Do List

2006-09-26T08:59:00.000-05:00

Well I am sure most people have heard of a "Honey-Do" list, but I got my first "Daddy-Do" list a few days ago. Usually when I am at work my wife will tell me I need to fix this, or paint that or do this when I get home and I ask her to write it down so I don't forget. Well last time I was home I got like 2 pages of stuff done. Mostly little things like putting handles on the kitchen cabinets (when we bought the house there was none on there) and touch up here and there. Well I guess my daughters saw this so they think if it is written on that notepad Daddy is going to do it. So they wrote me a Daddy-Do list. Some of the things on there?

Take us bowling. We each get to bring a friend and moma can come if she wants to.
Take us shopping in Baton Rouge, buy Katie lots of clothes and stuff
Hang a swing up for Ashie like at Pappy's house
Hang a bench swing up for Katie

Just some examples of what they came up with. To top that off Renee' already has me a list of stuff to do. Paint both bathrooms, paint office, etc etc etc. I am trying to think of a good way to get out of it because hunting season is starting up and I have to go plant some food plots, get deer stands ready, practice shooting my bow. I got my own list of to-do's to do. But I guess I could go bowling once :)

Finally pictures

2006-09-25T06:43:00.000-05:00

Well blogger finally decided to let my post some pictures on here, so I thought I would post the ones I tried to post the other day.

My baby, Ashie. This was at the Ms. Vidalia Pagent. She is so pretty she came in 1st, 2nd and 3rd. She actually was just a page for the older girls. But she is very pretty :)

This is my oldest daughter Katie. Here is a picture of what she does from the time she wakes up until the few minutes before she goes to bed. V-I-K-I-N-G-S GO VIKES!

My wifes hound dog Tristian. Didn't know it until I looked them up on the net, but Chinese Crested are very hairy dogs. When he is older he will have hair hanging to the floor. Can't wait until my wife puts a sweater on him and my lab thinks he is a play toy and starts to chase him and shake him around. That will be too funny!

This is my hound dog Prissy. Isn't she pretty?

Hey everyone

2006-09-21T09:07:00.000-05:00

Not sure what blogger's problem is, but it won't let my upload any pictures. Anyone else having this problem?

Well I get to go to New Orleans this time I get home for two days. WOO FUCKING HOO!!! Did I mention that I get to go down there for work? But NOT get paid? Oh yeah I am ecstatic about it. They did say they would pay for our hotel room this time. Last time we had to go down there for 2 days they even told us they would not pay for our rooms. I drove 3 hours down there went to the class all day. Drove 3 hours home. Slept, woke up and drove 3 hours there and then 3 hours back. I am sure you are asking yourself, "You tightwad, why not just get the room yourself?" Well good question anon poster. It was the principle of the thing. They would not pay for the room, so I rolled up about 800 miles on their truck. That is just like this time when I go. Ok they are not going to pay me, so how much do you think it is going to cost them for my meal? I tell you what, I plan to eat the biggest and best steak Coppelands has to offer. I mean our district, not company, just our district reported record 'QUARTER' earnings of $55 million, but we don't pay for training anymore? Hilarious. . . . Then they actually sit there and ask you why people are leaving to go to work for our competitors, like they are baffled anyone would leave.

New Pictures

2006-09-19T12:16:00.000-05:00

Well I was called with some good news this morning. My Dad took my mom out of the Nursing Home and brought her HOME!! WOO HOO!!!! My wife and daughter said she was so happy and excited. I can only imagine. She hasn't been home in close to 3 months. They are going to bring her in for therapy everyday, but this will be SOOOO much easier on my parents and the rest of my family that are sitting with her not to mention how much happier I am sure my mom is going to be.

Well there is a new addition to my family. FINALLY got a boy in the house with me and from what I was told he is already strutting around like he is King Kong. My wife has always wanted a house dog, so her mom bought her a registered Chinese Crested Powder Puff to be her inside dog. That brings our grand total up to four dogs, two cats, two rabbits and a fish. Living in the country might as well stock up on the wildlife. (Going to have to start to kennel them dogs though. Had two bucks feeding around my pond and my dogs went down there and ran them off) Anyway, I was going to post a picture of my wife's new puppy "Tristian Trisket Cooley", but blogger has decided that I am not going to post the picture. Not sure what is up with that. This is the best I can do. Click here to see a picture of my daughter holding the puppy :)

Well I hope everyone has a great day. See ya.

Where have I been this time!

2006-09-18T18:26:00.000-05:00

Well here I am again. Sorry for the huge lack of updates here lately. At home I have been so busy running here, running there getting home and it is almost 9pm. So been extremely busy.

Get out here and the phones and internet are out. When they came back up this morning my wife called me and told me that her PawPaw had passed away : (

He was a great man. Always had a great story or a smile to pass on. I met him way back when, when Renee' and I started dating. I went down there with her family and stayed at his place a few days and hunted and hung out. One of his favorite stories to tell about me is how I was afraid of heights.

They built this deer stand and took it up there and put it up and I went and got in it and I swear I was scared to death. Not because of the 10' height, but because I seriously thought it was about to fall to pieces, so I climbed down out of it and was sitting on the ground. About that time PawPaw Charles and Renee's step dad came driving by. That was all it took to label me scared of heights. THEN on top of that like the next day PawPaw Charles was doing this job for a lady and we were up on the top of her shed. He was cutting down a limb that was rubbing on the shingles. Well Renee's step dad cuts it down and the limb falls and smashes the turbine up on the roof. Not like a little dent either. I mean this thing was smashed flat (they tugged and pulled and half way got it to where it would almost spin again) I mean we are up there standing on this little roof, they cut down this big limb and it smashes the turbine. I said to hell with this, I am getting down. OH yeah, it was on then.

He loved to tell that story of me climbing down out of that deer stand. I loved to hear it. He was a great guy and will be missed.

41 Things. . . .

2006-09-03T16:25:00.000-05:00

Found this on my space. . . Thought it was cool and different. . . So I reposted it. .

41 Things You Never Think to Ask

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Had my car searched, but never patted down

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
No, I would like to watch myself plunge to my death

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
Never

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Someone else

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Yes

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
HELL YES

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Jennifer Aniston!!! Angelina is a skank

9. Do you stay friends with your ex's?
Not like hang out friends, but I still speak to them when I see them.

10. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
My record is 76 hours straight, trust me you get delusional

12. What's your favorite commercial?
Right now it would have to be the magician that does the Hummer commercials

13. What are you allergic to?
Dust mites

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights?
No

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Yes

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Yankees

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
No

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Who knows? I mean if you don't remember them how would you know to count them? I guess I remember all of the ones I can remember. If I can't remember them I guess I didn't dream.

19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
Listening to the Comedy channel on XM Radio

20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
No, I honestly can't

21. What's the one thing on your mind now?
My family, big day tomorrow (Monday)

22. Do you believe in love at first sight?
absolutely not, love is too complex to fall in love at first sight. Infactuation? Yes
Lust? Yes Love? NO

23. Do you know who Ghetto-ass barbie is?
Seen her picture on the internet

24. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Yes

25 what cell service do you use?
Cingular

26. Do you like Sushi?
YUCK! HELL NO!

27. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
Yes, more than once.

28. What do you wear to bed?
Tightie whities

29. Been caught stealing?
No

30. what shoe size do you have?
9.5 - 10

31. Do you truly hate anyone?
Hmmm, I am working through some issues. I will get back to you on this later.

32. Classic Rock or Rap?
Eminem Rap

33. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Just one? Man that is tough. . . Karen McDougal

34. Are you a virgin
No

35. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror?
Yes

36. What food do you find disgusting?
Chittlins

37. Do you sing in the shower?
No

38. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours"?
Yes

39. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Nothing I don't make fun of them about when they are with me

40. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Yes

41. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yes

One-A-Day

2006-08-31T12:07:00.000-05:00

Anyone out there take one a day vitamins? Is it just me or does it make your pee stink? You know how you can tell if someone is taking a one a day vitamin? They are the only ones who when they walk into a public bathroom, they are asked for a courtesy flush while taking a leak. Honest! I have seen it happen.

My LSU FIGHTING TIGERS open up their season Saturday against ULL. That should be a blow out of epic proportions. But it is a good tune up because they have a tough schedule. I am working on getting 4 tickets to take my family to watch them play. But I will be working so much here for the next month to make up days, having to check availability and all that.

Wanna see a cool magic act?

**Woman doing the magic act gets naked!! YOU are warned. She really does a magic act, but she strips as part of her show to show you she is not hiding the cloth square anywhere. Pretty cool actually.

Well I thought it was cool anyway.

2006-08-30T12:34:00.000-05:00

Well I can't remember if I updated about my daughters so I will update about them. My oldest daughter recently went to Cheerleader camp at Northwestern State University. We were worried about her, all parents worry you should know that. Well we got to go the last day and watch her perform and man did she shock us! She did EXCELLENT! We were kind of worried that she would get there and be shy and all that. But she got out there and yelled and cheered and had a great time. They had several dances that were optional for the cheerleaders to learn. Her and a friend of hers went and learned one of the optional dances and got out there and performed it with a lot of different cheerleaders. She acted so happy and had such a good time. She is supposed to cheer tomorrow at the first game. I hope she does great!

My youngest daughter has already come up and asked us when Basketball season starts. She wants to start practicing so she will be ready. She will move up in leagues this year and said she wants to do good. We were kind of worried she would not want to play this year but when we asked her she just said "Why wouldn't I?" That was good enough for us. Let the hoops begin! She has already told us not to expect her to go out for cheerleader though. As she put it, that just isn't her thing!

Other than that, things around the Ponderosa are going great. Got my office going and man is it nice. We moved computers in there and put a day bed in there. Lots of great things can be said about it, wish we would have turned it into an office back in December when we moved in. Moving my computer in there opened up our bedroom and makes it look huge. The girls come in there and play and do crafts, Renee organizes her eBay stuff in there. Really a great family room, everyone should have one.

Well now that I have caught everyone up on family stuff. I will return to amusing little stories to get your attention. Tune in tomorrow. . . I will try to come up with something funny by then.